‘The sounds of silence,’ were the words that echoed through my head after Deva/ Debra Troy said them as I was lying on the fuzzy plaid blanket covered massage table in her Doylestown, PA office for the fifth of ten Facial Reflex Therapy  sessions. This modality was created by Lone Sorensen  for the purpose of working with the body’s systems from the singular location of the face.

As she is abundantly aware, I have an extremely active monkey mind that chatters all kinds of sometimes important, sometimes trivial stuff at me. It clamors to be heard and understood. It thinks it can’t sleep or it will miss out on inspiration and expression. It accepts the koan- cogito, ergo sum, ( Latin: “I think, therefore I am) by Rene’ Descartes. So, the reminder to be in silence as much as possible during the session was a welcome treat. The ipod wouldn’t work to play music, so we suspected it was trying to tell us something as well.

In the beginning of the time together, Deva asked me what had been coming up for me physically, emotionally and mentally. I shared that someone pointed out to me that I am good at helping other people shine. Having been a journalist since 1988 and interviewed many transformational movers and shakers, I encourage others to stand in their power, in the spotlight and get noticed. I have become adept at being shamelessly self promoting AND fear being ‘too much’. As I was saying those words, I could feel my throat tightening as if I didn’t quite believe them. We agreed to have me just be with the feelings rather than attempting to figure them out.

During the session, I fell asleep once again, as Deva focused on immune and hormonal systems. Not a surprise that as I am writing these words, the hot flashes have continued. Since hormones also impact on emotions, I am not at all amazed that they have been rising to the surface to merely be felt, not investigated. It had been my pattern in the past few years to repress them in the service of just getting by, carrying the weight of expectation and other people’s issues. As a consummate caregiver, I had mistakenly come to believe it was my responsibility. Now I am relinquishing them in the service of more than mere survival, but the same kind of thriver-ship I encourage in others.

After the session, I hastened off to two meetings, then home and fell into a deep sleep once again, for 90 minutes. It seems I am clearing out a whole bunch of body-mind-spirit backup that may have been accumulating for years. As we are mid-way through the treatment, it will be interesting to see what arises over the next five weeks as I continue facing life on life’s terms.