For much of my life, I have resisted struggling. I know that sounds weird, since on some level, resistance IS struggle. Efforting. Pushing against what is, rather than accepting it. I have often denied that some things are just plain difficult, because I haven’t wanted to admit that sometimes I need help. Never liked to feel vulnerable and am learning that sometimes it is necessary.

I have been calling into my life, the opportunities I have wanted in terms of writing and speaking. There are times when I bump up against impatience and pout petulantly that things aren’t happening fast enough for my liking. I then recall where I was a year ago and two years ago and a decade ago and realize how far I really have traveled to get from there to here.

Today, I attended, via phone, a rehearsal for GMP (Good Men Project)  Live that is a story telling event in which I will be participating next week in New York City. Here I was in my suburban Philly home and through the marvels of modern technology ‘sat’ with the other participants as we practiced telling our tales. I am both excited and nervous about sharing the story called Meet You at the Gate,  since it is about my parents who I treasure and miss. In the midst of counting the years since they have passed; seven for my dad and almost five for my mom, not a day goes by that I don’t think about them. Sometimes they pop into my mind several times in 24 hours. There isn’t an aching longing for their physical presence, but rather a wistfulness. I sense that I have indeed gotten accustomed to living without them.

Other potential struggles have to do with keeping up with the myriad deadlines I face. It’s not that I can’t keep pace with them; rather it is thinking about thinking that I can’t meet the requirements people have of me. THAT is one the most annoying truths I know. The monkey mind on a hamster wheel keeps on spinning.

Much of my life these days truly feels like I am in the flow. People, experiences, money, messages and creative opportunities arise as if they whisked into my world and all I need do is stand there and let them in. Isn’t that how it oughta be?

I welcome life being pleasurable and effortless.