One of my greatest joys in my role as an interfaith minister, is officiating at weddings. Although I have lost count, I estimate that I have married over 300 couples since being ordained in 1999. Mixed gender and same sex couples have walked down the aisle toward the altar and together, we have sealed the deal that was cast sometimes even in their childhood. The youngest pair was 21 and the oldest in their 70’s. For some it was the first stroll down the aisle, for others, their second or third, after being widowed or divorced. Multi-cultural, spiritual if not religious, with rituals from various traditions acknowledge their joining. Since my life is ‘all about relationships,’ and love is at the core, celebrating it in this way is my idea of Heaven on Earth.
Last night I had the honor of doing the honors for a young couple who grew up together. Early on, they were more buddies than sweethearts. It took some time away at college for them to recognize what treasures they were to each other. Facebook reunited them and they have been inseparable ever since. It was easy to see the love radiating between them. Contagious.
I had met them in person only a few weeks prior to the ceremony and we had crafted it with amazing speed and focus. We had a cosmically coincidental experience at that time.
In mid-September, I was at the Doylestown Arts Festival for a few hours. I had an appointment with them for our initial meeting. Heading back to my car, I was walking on State Street and in front of Ventrescas (a men’s clothing store) I notice a ‘striking looking young man’ as I thought of him at that moment. Shoulders that had clearly seen the inside of a gym were discernable. He and I smile and nod at each other. He then speaks to another man near the store. I get in my car and drive to the house where Linsday greets me at the door. She tells me that Damien will be joining us shortly and she and I begin to work on the ceremony. A while later, Damien strolls in. We laugh and hug when we see each other, with the exclamation, “It’s you!” and we realize that we had passed each other on the street before he was to walk into the store for his tux fitting. Does the Universe have a sense of humor or what? I shared this during the ceremony and laughter could be heard.
The weather was tenuous, with a hurricane threatening. The rehearsal night was drippy and windy. Fortunately, the prayers for dry skies prevailed and the heaters in the tent helped to keep it cozy for the wedding itself. Twinkle lights and lovely autumnal foliage added to the beauty of the evening. The bride and groom were gorgeous. The music lively and dance-inducing. The food phenomenal. The company delightful.
The ceremony (the most important aspect, since it sets the tone for the marriage) was magical, despite a few snafus. In the haste of preparation, the license and the bride’s ring were left at their home and the maid of honor earned her wings by running (literally) over to retrieve them. The good thing is that the bride and groom’s house was up the block from her parent’s house where the wedding was held. As a seasoned speaker, I had to ‘tap dance’ (not literally) a bit and improvise. I described a scene from the film Four Weddings And A Funeral during which Hugh Grant’s character forgot to bring the rings in his role as Best Man and had to improvise himself.
At the reception, I sat next to a friend of the family and had an amazing conversation about our shared take on how things work. It is that life is a gift given by God who wants us to enjoy it and asks us to help other people whenever we can.
A poignant moment came for me while watching the parent-child dance. The bride danced with her dad to the song Dance With My Father Again by Luther Vandross and the groom with his mother in-law to the boyz 2 men piece called Mama. It occurred to me powerfully that should I ever marry again, my parents won’t be there to walk me down the aisle or dance with me, except in Spirit.
Grateful to have been tapped to do this work and share the love~