“May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder.”

-John O’Donahue

Tonight at dinner with my friend Chris, we were speaking about that nebulous place between here and there, one state of being and the next, one relationship and another. At the end of every profound thread, we shrugged our shoulders and said, ” I don’t know.” Scary words. AND sometimes a necessary description of the human condition. Like me, he is a curious soul, delving deep, avoiding surface conversations. I’ve read some of his beautiful poetry and can vouch for that. This kind of dialog is one of my favorite ways of getting to know people…..as we talk about ‘life, the Universe and everything.’

One of my challenges is being patient and waiting for the coming to fruition of seeds I have planted. Not one of my talents, although I am learning to sit with the discomfort of the ‘isness’ of things. Not only what I want them to be. Not how I think they ought to be in a just world. As Byron Katie refers to it, “Loving What Is”.  Sometimes I fight that reality symbolically kicking and screaming; quite a two year old toddler tantrum.

One of the questions I asked over beet salad (me) and fried pickles (him), at a place in Philly called Llama Tooth,  was if he could know the day of his death, would he want to. He said he wouldn’t. I might want to. Although I don’t court it, I don’t think I would fear it, if I was asked to cross over, since I am sure that love awaits. I do my best to  live each day as if it could be my swan song.  There is a commercial for a life insurance company whose tag line is, “admitting we’re going to die is not going to kill us.”  I laughed when I first heard it and then considered how we are taught that the unknown is something to run from. Sometimes I shrug my shoulders and realize that for all of my attempts to micromanage my life, it can be invigorating to go for a ride and allow Spirit to drive the vehicle.