We are all relational beings, coming into the world hard-wired for connection to each other. Bonding takes place in family of birth, if we are fortunate. There are those, sadly, who miss out on the heart and soul safety in the families into which they are born. I have witnessed the impact as I have sat with therapy clients over the decades as a clinician. I have also seen the beauty of bonding that takes place when people experience love amidst family of choice as well as birth relations.

I have been blessed with both. If I had hundreds of fingers and toes, I would still run out of digits to enumerate the souls who support me on my journey this time around. We water each other’s gardens via words and actions. If I am feeling….just feeling, anything, I know that there are people I can count on to walk me through them. If I am celebrating, they jump up and down with me. If I am in the pits of despair, they won’t climb in with me and I wouldn’t want them to anyway, but they hold out a hand, a rope and a ladder to assist me in emerging. If I am easing through life, they dance with me to whatever music is playing.

My intention always, is to be that dance partner, cheerleader or ladder dropper for those I love. Relationships take cultivating and nurturing and call for feeding, weeding, watering and just the right amount of sunlight.

What are some ways you water your relationships?

For me, it includes calling or messaging, sometimes just checking in to see how someone is doing. Voice to voice and in person communication adds another layer of connection that goes beyond IM and email.

It involves an invitation to spend time together, creating memories. I have found that as I age, I value experiences more than things in my life. I have become a repository for moments that I can unwrap and enjoy later.

I let people know that they are treasured and loved, as I express it in both word and action. It occurs to me daily that what goes unsaid is left to be questioned and assumptions are made and then acted on as if they are true.

Making myself available for prn (Latin for ‘as needed’ that has become a medical term) support as able, holding space for people to share what is within.

Introducing my friends to each other, since I know that if I treasure them, then others I know are likely to as well.

Throwing shindigs, gatherings, parties to bring them all together. Friendships have formed at such events.

Hugs, hugs, hugs! As an affectionate person by nature, I enjoy lavishing love that way.

The wordsmith in me likes writing stories, poems and other offerings for friends.

Bringing over food that is infused with love.

Understanding that neither I, nor others in my life are always at our best. We will trip up along the way and need to make amends. I can’t tell you the number of times I have found myself wishing I had made different choices.

“Love is the opening door. Love is what we came here for. No one could offer you more. Do you know what I mean? Have your eyes really seen?”

Love Song-Elton John