“Oh soul, you worry too much. You have seen your own strength. You have seen your own beauty. You have seen your golden wings. Of anything less, why do you worry? You are in truth the soul, of the soul, of the soul.” -Rumi

I have long believed that worry is a waste of imagination, even though our minds can spin out of control with what could go wrong. All of the what if and if only thoughts come waving their metaphorical arms for attention, reminding us that ultimately we are not in control of the outcome of much. When my brain capacity is filled with fearsome ideas, there is no room for creativity.

I could say that I come by my worry tendencies genetically as my paternal grandmother could have received a bronze statue, a gold medal and a blue ribbon if ever there was a worriers’ competitive event. She and her parents fled Russia before the pogroms when Jews were ousted from the country. Even though they safely landed in their adopted country of America, I imagine that the pattern was already ingrained. I never knew my great grandparents, but I would bet they were worry champs too.

So, what kind of things creep into my open mind when I least expect them to appear?

* Money issues

* Health issues

* Relationship issues

* My son’s well-being

* My friends’ and extended families’ states

* My car

*My home

* Career issues

Are those enough?

Ironically, I don’t fret over the state of the world, since I can’t single-handedly stop war and poverty, quell violence between people  and between humans and animals, keep folks from polluting the planet and be sure there is enough for everyone. I do, however, behave in ways that I perceive to be loving and kind, supportive and pro-active.

A friend asked me yesterday if I have faith. That’s a tough one to answer, since it implies a not knowing. What gets me through is remembering that I have survived everything that has ever happened in my life, so I will leap whatever hurdles might appear. The idea is to do it as gracefully as possible, without tripping over my feet. I am also able to silence (at least temporarily) the monkey mind by chatting with the Divine within and around me. I am still not settled on what I perceive God to be. There are times when I say that our conversations are dialogs and sometimes monologues. What I do know is that answers arrive; albeit not always in the ways I expect. There is no such thing in my mind as an unanswered prayer. I don’t always appreciate the answer at the time, but in retrospect, I can always see the purpose of the experience.

Learning to take the Nestea Plunge in trust that there is plenty of water in the pool to catch me….and I can swim.