Some days it is so easy to kvetch (Yiddish for complain) and whine and moan about all of the things that aren’t unfolding as we would have them do. People don’t always cooperate in a manner that we think they should. Traffic sometimes gets in the way and slows us down, so that we get to our destination later than we expect. There is a long line in the grocery store check out line. Job circumstances change. Relationships shift. Health challenges loom. Each of these events have occurred in my life over the last few years and I have needed to face them with as much grace as possible. At first, my reaction was to gloss over some of them, containing my emotions, lest they bowl me over with their intensity. While that may have served me initially so that I could handle the details of what was heading in my direction, ultimately, it was not a place that was healthy for me to set up camp. What I have come to see is that what was a coping skill became an impediment. What we don’t feel, we can’t heal.

Today, in conversation with dear friends who fit into the ‘family of choice’ category, Janet Berkowitz and Phil Garber, we were discussing someone else in our lives and the ways in which he has transformed in the past decade. His tendency has been to see the manure rather than the pony in the barn. Lately, he has shifted his perception. Phil remarked that this person has moved from “a ‘poor me’ attitude, to a place of gratitude.”  I whole-heartedly agree with Phil’s observation. All three of us have attempted to model and then reinforce that mindset with him and miraculously, it seems to be sinking in.

I find that gratitude needs to be an every day, and sometimes moment to moment practice, much like anything with which we want to feel a sense of accomplishment. The more I exercise a muscle, the stronger it grows.

I do my attytood of grattytood exercise periodically throughout the day. It includes my home, friends, family, computer,  Jeep, health, right livelihood work and spiritual connection. Those are the regulars. Then I mix in more specifics, such as the ceiling fan that is blowing a cool breeze on a late winter, feels like spring afternoon. I am grateful for the sun streaming in through the curtains, the groceries I just brought home, the gym I will be heading to soon, as well as the gas in the car for which I got a discount (my supermarket knocks down the price when I purchase a certain amount of food.) I appreciate the new work opportunities that are in the works. I welcome with delight, the partner who is coming into my life from wherever he is at the moment. I am blessed to feel an abundance of love that I share in the world. I am warmed by all of the invitations I have from people who want me to come out and play with them. I am over the top excited about my son’s new life and successes in all areas.

I much prefer to live in that place of gratitude. It is an upscale address.