I am listening to my favorite radio station, called WXPN which I began streaming online this morning at 6:30 or so as my favorite show called Sleepy Hollow offered forth the sounds of soothing easy wake-up music. Bundled under blankets on the couch and still in jammies at the moment, watching the snowflakes wafting softly downward. In an hour, I will be taping a podcast, being interviewed by a Facebook friend named Kerri Hummingbird on the connection with our essence. After that, time at the gym, more writing, and editing. Tonight, a friend newly diagnosed with breast cancer will be coming over, joined by other friends who will offer healing energy. A ‘normal’ day for this conscious solopreneuer, cosmic concierge, Bliss Mistress, and opti-mystic. In the midst of all of these activities, what sneaks in is the reality of current events It is not about politics. It is not about parties. It is not about demonizing voters who made a different choice than I did. It is about overcoming the fear that didn’t exist in me a few months ago. Fear that invades my dreams. Totalitarian regime on the march in my head that reflect the threats and reality that is playing out on the world stage. Thoughts of what I can say or do that can make a difference and change the trajectory of events that seem like a runaway train about to crash into a wall, taking all the passengers with it. The conductors are those whose beliefs and values are threatening the fabric of inclusivity that the country was founded on. Each morning, I awaken and wonder about the latest atrocity that could occur.
Know that I am not by nature, a pessimist, nor am I prone to depression or anxiety. I am a resilient thriver. Throughout my life, I have lost loved ones (husband, parents and friends), raised a child as a single parent, had my home destroyed by Hurricane Andrew in Homestead, Florida in 1992, which was the same year I had an ectopic pregnancy and my husband was diagnosed with Hepatitis C. In 2013 and 2014, a series of health crises emerged…shingles, heart attack, kidney stones, and adrenal fatigue. This New Years Eve, I was the guest of the local hospital’s ER after bronchial coughing led to rib injury. Enough already! With each of these events, I knew I would prevail. Never was there an extensive period of time that I felt the kind of despair and bewilderment that I do now. And from each of these I have emerged, so what makes me think that I won’t and we won’t from this? Is it because it is not just primarily impacting on my little bubble? Is it related to the idea that there are many more people involved in deciding that this is unacceptable and taking action to create positive change? I can count on me to do what it takes to heal. Can I count on my brothers and sisters worldwide to do the same?
A week ago at this time, I was one of 50,000 who marched in Philadelphia. I felt bolstered and buoyed up as I smiled, laughed, cried and hugged, as a Hugmobster Armed With Love. It refilled my tank and kept me going for another few days. Yesterday, I was interviewed on a radio show as one of three who attended the march. The other two did their part in Washington, DC. Today, on the podcast, I will be offering ways of connecting with the feeling of unity and not division.
There are times when I feel almost guilty for having fun in the midst of this. I know that tragedies occur around the world on a moment to moment basis that I am able to store in the recesses of my brain. I am grateful to have my safe home, fulfilling work that supports me well, loving family and friends, a healthy body and mind. I am thankful for my recovery with workaholism and co-dependence. Things that seemed so pressing a year ago, now feel trivial in the grand scheme of things.
What passes for normal now is searching for accurate news reports, praying to accept the Highest Good, strategizing ways to be steadfast as a voice for love and unity, respecting and honoring, rather than dividing and conquering.
I know that life goes on. I turn to the shared energy of the God of my understanding as together we continue to create a new normal. Like most rug pulled out from under us experiences, we have a choice as to whether we remain flattened or fluff ourselves back up and keep on keepin’ on.
I am certain that love will ultimately prevail.