Today I was musing with my friend Cindy, that a year ago marks the last time I saw my mother prior to her passing on November 26, 2010.  Halloween weekend had me heading southward to sunny South Florida for what was to be a final period of laughter, sharing of  stories, hugs and cuddles and chocolate with the woman who 52 years and two weeks earlier, had birthed me into the world. Little did I know at the time, that we were in the final stages of birthing her into her new life.

I asked if she wanted to go trick or treating and she said that she would rather that the little ones come to her. I suggested that we dress in costume and she said she didn’t want to scare the kids.  So, instead, we sat together with a big bowl of mixed candy on her lap and with pumpkin colored bags on my lap, and scooped up handfuls and dropped them into their containers. Later that day, three of the neighbor children came into the living room in their costumes, wanting to spend time with this eternally youthful kid in an old person’s body who they saw as a surrogate grandmother. I was delighted to witness that they found her company to be as sweet as, and more compelling than the treats she offered them.

We reminisced about the Halloween party we had at my childhood home for which she sewed pumpkin costumes for my father and herself, my sister and me, including hats with stems that tied under our chins.  We stuffed the costumes with newspapers that rustled when we moved. Green leotards and orange facepaint adorned our bodies and cheeks. I thought it was the coolest thing to have a mother who was so creative.  Even my dad got into the spirit of it, since he too was a big kid.  I reminded her of the year that Jan and I both dressed as Mary Poppins, complete with little parasols that we twirled and pretended could help us fly.

As I look back on that particular weekend, I realize that, even not knowing at the time that I would not be holding her hand or hugging or kissing her again in this lifetime, I felt complete, holding nothing back, saying all that needed to be said. I am amazed when I consider how this year has unfolded, from her death, to her funeral, from handling her affairs to completing my book with her encouragement on this earth plane, to the ongoing support from wherever she is at the moment, to the opportunities to connect with so many kindred spirits, to the “Mom Miracles” and butterfly sightings that have occurred…I am simply blown away. Lest I forget…love lingers…and I am grateful~

For the sweet soul she will always be~

http://youtu.be/eKfbVAO6VGA All Souls Night-Loreena McKennitt