What if you saw this classified ad in your local paper this morning, as you drank your coffee, tea, chai, juice or in my case- fruit and veggie smoothie? Would your heart leap with delight because you were just waiting for this opportunity to step out on the stage of life or would it sink, because you aren’t sure who ‘yourself’ is?  I always knew who I was at my core, but oftentimes donned costumes so as to play various roles that were expected of me. Good girl, daughter who wanted to make my parents proud of me, friend who could be counted on, excelling at school student, highly competitive swimmer, vivid imaginista, loyal partner, co-dependent caregiver who exhibited ‘savior behavior’-who wanted to heal, save, fix and kiss the boo boos to make them all better, the go-to gal for answers to dilemmas, spiritual gypsy, the one to call at whatever o’clock to pick my brain (or whatever was accessible), fun playmate, silliness incarnate. But what if, just below the surface is someone who wants to break free of those roles and refuses to be typecast?  What if there is a wild woman who is way more sensual, outspoken, daring to be different and not attempting to blend in for fear of rejection?

I have role models in my life for those characters that I could play should I choose to be braver than I am at times. They brazenly and vulnerably share all aspects of themselves, feeling that to hide is to diminish the Divine creations that they are.  Yesterday, I was in conversation with someone I had just met and he made an assumption about me based on my appearance. I was wearing a dress, make up, sparkly flip flops, dangly earrings and very short cropped hair. Somehow the topic turned to sexuality and he commented that it was possible that I preferred women as partners because of my hair length. I smiled coyly and asked “How do you know whether I do or not, on that one criteria?”  I chided him for his stereotyping perspective. Whatever my preference, it is amusing to consider that someone would make that statement when people, whether Gay, Straight, Bi (or as I refer to it ‘fluid’) look various ways. The most masculine appearing woman might be straight as an arrow and the most ‘girly girl’ might be female-partner focused. The most effeminate seeming man, may prefer female partners and the most buff, Marlboro-man looking dude may be married to another man. My big question is why the heck should we care?

As I explore the various and sundry aspects of myself, I give full permission to simply BE, without limiting myself or being type-cast. I will always get the part of being ME.