“On this day of your life, Edie, I believe God wants you to know……that impatience will get you nowhere, fast. If you insist on being in a hurry, you’ll move very quickly — and often get nowhere. Take a breath. Relax. Find your peace. Don’t require the Universe to move more rapidly than it is. It is actually working perfectly, and it will prove that to you if you will give it a chance. Really. Trust me on this.”

– Neale Donald Walsch

How does what I call “God/Goddess/All That Is”, a.k.a. The God Of My Understanding always know what I most need to hear or read? It wouldn’t have the job if it didn’t, obviously and since I am part of what in New Thought circles is referred to as The Mind of God/ Divine Mind, I am tapped into its wisdom at all times, if I pay attention. So are you, by the way. My take on it is that there is no one exempt. When we are feeling lonely or isolated, fearful or aggressively angry, we just believe we are separate.

Lately, I have been facing a health crisis of life stretching proportions. I was diagnosed with shingles on Saturday night and am, through the power of prayer and reiki, combined with the marvels of modern medicine, clear intention and rejuvenating sleep,  on the mend. Early on, I felt extremely impatient, wanting it all to be over NOW! The electric jolt pain in my head, has given way to moderate throbbing. The zombie-esque skin lesions look far better than they did a day or so ago, when they might have scared small children. Actually,  one small child in my life (my son’s girlfriend’s 3 year old) was more fascinated than appalled as he  stood in my bedroom doorway and waved, blowing kisses and telling me “Feel better.”  Collin, along with other friends and family, in person and via Facebook and email, is my medicine. As I am willing to surrender and receive the love, I heal.  I am overwhelmed with all the attention and envision the prayers as 1,000 paper cranes being folded or Tibetan prayer flags flying in the wind, and would have in years past, held it at bay, since after all, I am the one accustomed to offering it to others. How arrogant I can be at times, thinking that I don’t need anyone else’s love and support, even as I crave it at times, but can scatter it like flower petals on the wind and would feel saddened if others didn’t accept it. I stood, ready to receive. And then a strange thing happened. Rather than calmly settling back into its softness, I felt extremely impatient with how long it was taking, forgetting that a few days earlier, I had no clue that this storm was brewing inside me, waiting to tidal wave crash down on me. Here I was, in bed, blood pulsing in my enervated head, virus being quelled into submission and I was rushing God. “Come on already!  With as many people reaching out to you on my behalf, you would think that this thing would be gone by now.” Even as I was being reminded, not just to slow down, but actually STOP and let sleep nourish and regenerate my fried nerves and compromised immune system, I was God wrestling. Spirit’s response was similar to Neale’s message above. No way was I going to get away with rushing my healing, since it is what landed me here in the first place. It was also no accident that it occurred around the 3rd anniversary of my mother’s death in November 26th.

I had been burning the candle at both ends, until there was no more wax left. I had been withholding the compassion to myself that I gave others. I had been depriving myself of sleep, saying it was ‘highly over-rated.’ I had been caregiver when I wanted to be care receiver at times. I had taken on more and more,  until items were falling off the edges of my way too full plate. I am in this for whatever healing is in Divine timing. Do I want the pain to go away?  Right now! Do I want my skin to clear up? Right now! Do I want to have the energy back that I had a few months ago? Right now! Am I willing to bask in, soak in, embrace the love that is being showered on me as part of my soul healing? Yes and yes and yes again.

I am so blessed and being now-here. <3

http://youtu.be/pHKo3CjuzpY Mi Sheberach by Debbie Friedman