I received a note from a woman who writes that her uncontrolled chatter “seems to be stemming from the rejection of someone I have been in love with.”

“This person is not in love with me,” she goes on to say. “And all I can think about is the pain of the rejection. It is the first thing I think about when I wake and the last thing I think about at night. I am constantly trying to figure out why I wasn’t good enough. I know it’s not healthy, but I can’t seem to turn it off. I am stuck. Any suggestions?”

Suggestions? Heck yeah! We’ve all been there!

Here’s what you must affirm to your chattering self several times a day:.

SOMEONE IS OUT THERE GETTING READY FOR ME.

My sister, an Imago therapist who now leads “Deeper Dating” workshops, lent me this line many years ago when I too was alone and miserable. And the minute she gave me those words, I felt stronger.

I’ve given this affirmation to other single friends, and it seems to have been extremely helpful to them. My dear pal Sheila, for instance, came up to me at her wedding in San Francisco last March, resplendent in her ivory satin gown, and said, “You told me that someone was out there getting ready for me! And you were right!”

Focus on getting ready for this mystery person by loving and accepting yourself more than you ever have in your life. The Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway, a well known wedding officiant in the New York area, and author of the book A Goddess is a Girl’s Best Friend, has written that before getting coupled, you must marry yourself.

Then, of course, I have the same nuts-and-bolts advice I’d give anyone married or single. Eat well. Settle up with your family. Develop a yoga or meditation practice. Join a spiritual group compatible with your interests and beliefs. Exalt in the changing seasons. Go on long walks. These things are not dippy! You will find peace!