One of the Chattering boys has been worried that though he is Jewish, he’s no longer sure there’s a God.

“I don’t want to be an atheist, and I actually think I might be a Buddhist. I don’t know what to do,” he said recently, appealing to me for direction and help. You may chalk this up to him being a product of a Christian-Jewish marriage with Buddhist influences, but no–we have worked hard to give him a Jewish identity. Mr. Chattering and I are taking this seriously.

Here’s one fact I did manage to articulate to my son yesterday (though it doesn’t immediately address the main question): you can practice Buddhism, or be interested in Buddhism, and still be Jewish (or anything else for that matter). Buddha himself didn’t teach Buddhism or any other ‘ism.’ Many people who follow Buddhist teachings choose not to call themselves “Buddhist” because they want to avoid an us-them mindset.

If you ever hear anyone say, “Oh, I’m a Buddhist,” you might politely point this out to them. Or, well, no…I take that back. It is probably best to just notice your need to say it and then add nothing. Here’s a link to a long and fascinating article by Paul Fleischman that says it was never the Buddha’s intention to create a religion, dogma, or ontology.

Helping my son learn to know God, rather than just believe in God, is a long, loving, and quite absorbing project. I would love to hear from any of you who have raised children during their journey from belief in a mythic God-in-the-sky to something deeper and more intimate.