It was great to see Mr. Chattering and the kids again. But while I was gone my children acquired new friends–thriving head lice. Apparently, our school has become infested.

Two hours into my homecoming, I was combing Pantene cream rinse through each tangled, fine-haired Chattering head. With the younger, I tried to make the hunt for vermin seem like a fun science experiment: “Oh cool! Look at this guy’s little legs!”

Once again, the Internet came to my aid. You can treat head lice without harsh chemicals. You just have to comb and comb like crazy. And then comb and comb again after a few days, and then a week after that. I found good advice here about using mayonnaise as a lice-loosener. And here’s a product I’ve ordered to keep on hand. Our drug store stocks Lice Free, a “homeopathic” agent that I’ve found effective.

Sadly, for me head lice are forever linked to the days of post-9/11 grief, when the younger Chattering got lice from his kindergarten class. I had wild, recurring dreams in which voices said, “They’ll come back. They’ll come back,” and I couldn’t determine if they were speaking of bugs or terrorists. In any case, the two are forever entwined in my mind. And this most recent case comes right behind all the stress and worry about my father.

I was getting through it, though. I was outwardly calm. But then yesterday, some paper jammed in our laser printer, and I found myself frantic, perspiring, cursing out all electronic equipment. It was only as I pinched at the printer’s spool with a pair of tweezers that I started to sob. After a moment, I crept upstairs to recline on the couch and listen to Robert Gass’s “Chant: Spirit in Sound” CD.