Even before I looked at your posts regarding what you do when you dislike or hate someone, I found wisdom in the September issue of ‘Shambhala Sun’ (such a good magazine), which referred to Thich Nhat Hanh’s advice on managing angry feelings: The noted Vietnamese monk suggests you say, “Oh, my baby anger,” while cradling your rage in your “loving arms.” I’ll pass that along to my son.

I really don’t hate anyone these days either. But when upset by others, I sometimes limp around feeling disgruntled. When this happens, I see that my chattering mind is working overtime, and that my thoughts are defining me again.

Here’s what you guys had to say on this tough subject:

From Daria: “When I meet someone with whom I clash, I just admit it…Mostly, though, I pray. It may take time, but it’s near-impossible to feel negative about someone for whom I’m praying.

Thanks to Elmo for this: “…it’s those who describe themselves along the lines of “ultra-accepting progressives” who seem to be the most divisive, probably because they are the least willing to face that they are not as accepting as they would like to be.”

Writes Rebeccat: “My approval or disapproval of [someone else’s] behavior is simply not relevant in the scheme of things. Very few people are intentionally toxic or hurtful…Knowing this helps me not to take offense at such behavior.”

From LMS: “Hate is not a good thing to feel.”

Jan Riggs taught her son to look “deeper” when faced with a bully or unpleasant person: “That person is the MOST in need of love.”

Says Anna: “I’ve found phraseology to be particularly effective in easing my own hurt or anger…Let them find what they need to move along their path, let their hearts be wrapped in love and comfort.”