I love this short conversation with Deepak Chopra on how to make the world a better place. His helpful formula can be boiled down to three words: “Transform, Serve, Connect.”

Today, let’s just look at the first part: transformation. A lot of people struggle with their own transformation. They may buy something for someone else or spend all their time weeping over toxic relationships before indulging in their own massage, or journey through something like spiritual counseling or acupuncture.

I once had a friend in her fifties who couldn’t read a newspaper with ease because she put her children’s school clothes ahead of her own reading glasses. Typical mom stuff. And it’s hard to embrace change when you’re not putting yourself first. Or single folks in their twenties may spend a whole weekend preoccupied with a romantic partner who’s not available instead of enrolling in a transformative workshop that might teach them how to meditate, sing, dance, or find more joy in their lives.

Transformation starts simply: through you. You’ve got to love yourself, and take care of yourself to grow. There’s nothing selfish about that. You’ve got to learn to say, “Nope, I’m not going to waste my precious time being unhappy, I’m going to gravitate toward people and experiences that will heal me. It’s my time, my time is now.”

Are you doing enough to support your own transformation? If not, why does it feel impossible to look inward? We’ve all been there. Maybe start by posting something here for the first time.