In response to yesterday’s post about personal transformation, a thoughtful CM reader named Barb wrote this:

I’m a woman who’s 48-years-old and am a primary caregiver for a special needs son who has seizures, and is both mentally and physically challenged. It’s hard to find time for myself for sure. It’s also hard to look in the mirror and see the extra weight that I’ve put on over the years. It’s hard to love that image staring back in the mirror at me. So, my self confidence and self image is at an all time low. How do I transform myself? I’m still trying to figure that out. I have been eating more healthy and cutting out all junk food from my diet. I have managed to lose a few pounds but it’s a slow process. In the meantime, I’m trying to love who I am as I am. I have no problem with my internal being and am very spiritual. It’s the outside me that I have a problem with. It’s the outside me that others see because that’s the type of society that we live in today. So, what do you say to all that, hmm?

Barb, I’m glad you wrote. Life seems harder when our bodies aren’t comfortable vehicles for the journey. So I have some ideas. But remember as you work to get in shape by walking more and eating wisely that you can follow these links to meditate your way to a better body image, get into better contact with the natural perfection in you that already exists, adorn your body in colors that make you feel vibrant, or wear earrings and necklaces that magnify your positive energy. This is not trivial stuff. Think of the women you know and love who may not be conventionally beautiful or at an ideal weight, who may also have terribly stressful things going on in their lives, but who still radiate a spiritual beauty and vibrance that is noticeable to everyone. That’s what we’re all after–a vitality that sticks with us when our weight is up, when we’re having a challenging day, when we feel we’re steadily climbing uphill.

I have to recommend a book that was formative for me: Gay Hendricks’ “Achieving Vibrance: A Seven-Minute-a-Day Plan for Feeling, Looking, and Being Younger.” This small volume is loaded with advice on how to quickly center yourself, stretch, breathe, meditate, eat, and drink in a way that will make you feel good inside and out. When the author was 50, he looked at himself in the mirror and resolved to devise a program that would balance his full life on all levels. I recommend his plan of simple stretching and breathing exercises that can be done in a chair. He also says that beginning the day with a banana topped with peanut or almond butter is a terrific pre-breakfast snack when you’re on the go, and I think of him fondly every time I do it. It works.

On the subject of spiritual weight loss, I have two books to recommend that go beyond conventional model of simple food deprivation. Norris J. Chumley’s “The Joy of Weight Loss” has helped so many people exercise and pray their way to a fitter physique. He also maintains a presence on Beliefnet.com. Additionally, the famous “Fly Lady” at FlyLady.net promotes a book called “Body Clutter: Love Your Body, Love Yourself” that tackles weight loss with humor (viewing the pounds one carries like the stacks of unfiled papers one might tuck into bedroom corners). Authors Marla Cilley and Leanne Ely are just as much fun on the subject of household clutter and closet organization.

You might also get the book “You Will Dream New Dreams: Inspiring Personal Stories by Parents of Children With Disabilities” by Stanley Klein and Kim Schive. It sounds like good bedtime reading to me.

Someone once told me at a trying time: “Amy, you could have had a cookie cutter life, but then look at everything you would have missed.” I know that’s hard to hear right now, but look at all the wisdom you’ve acquired, behold the parents of newly-diagnosed kids you will one day help if you haven’t started already. Write back and tell us how you’re doing! Anyone else with ideas for Barb? Please chime in. I know there’s a great book of daily meditations for parents of children with special needs but I couldn’t find it online today.