In the first episode of their new “Lights On” podcast, former Hillsong NYC Pastor Carl Lentz and his wife, Laura, shared how his infidelity broke their ministry and marriage and the work they’ve done and continue to do to recover. Lentz was interviewed by his wife on the podcast and promised to share details about his relationship with Hillsong founder Brian Houston and the Evangelical megachurch network that fired him in upcoming episodes.
However, in the first half of the show, which was just over an hour long, Lentz made it clear that he didn’t like being called a “disgraced pastor” by the media reporting on his story. He doesn’t think it’s an accurate reflection of who he is based on his understanding of God’s grace. He said, “Every headline, typically would say, ‘disgraced, disgraced pastor,’ or ‘pastor falls from grace, falls from grace, falls from grace, disgraced pastor.’ What’s funny about that is, God bless those people; they [media] don’t understand grace. Because you can’t fall from grace. You fall into grace. It didn’t make any sense to me. And I’m not mad at the tabloids who write … ‘disgraced pastor.’ Disgraced?”
Lentz argued, “You don’t understand what grace is. The opposite of grace. Grace is mercy and favor and forgiveness that you do not deserve but God gives it to you anyway. So, if anything, I fell into grace. And if people could stop writing headlines like that, I would appreciate it because it’s inaccurate — disgraced pastor.” He continued, “I’m not a disgraced former pastor. I am a human being who made huge mistakes. Mine were public; everybody got to see them. And now, I’m a human being who’s trying to rectify my life and, make wrongs right and to live completely differently. But disgraced, I am not. I’m more filled with grace than I’ve ever been. Did I fall from grace? Absolutely not. I fell into it. And I’m really grateful for that.”
Lentz was fired from his post at Hillsong NYC in November 2020 over “leadership issues” and moral failures, including being unfaithful to his wife with multiple women, including a staff member at Hillsong NYC. Details from an internal investigation shared with The Christian Post in 2022 that was conducted on behalf of Hillsong Church by the New York City law firm Zukerman Gore Brandeis & Crossman, LLP, alleged, among other things, that he manipulated some former staff and volunteers and caused them mental distress. While noting that he understands people can feel “disgraced” by his scandal, Lentz maintains that it doesn’t make him a “disgraced” pastor.
Lentz said, “You could say what I did was disgraceful. Maybe at times, sure. But I’m not disgraced because we’re forgiven,” Lentz said. “I have been able to feel God’s grace more than ever. I understand the thought, but I just wanted to get it out there. That doesn’t fit me. You can keep writing that headline if you want. But that’s not me. I don’t identify as the disgraced former pastor. No, sir. No, ma’am.”
Lentz said he felt like ending his life when his indiscretions became public as the COVID-19 pandemic gripped the world, and he got fired from his job. He revealed how things quickly went from bad to worse. The day after the news broke, he said they were kicked out of the home they were staying at with their three children in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Lentz praised his wife profusely for standing by him and their family and talked about how her sacrifice to stay with him after everything gave them both a chance to heal and be better. He said his wife was not complicit in any way in his personal failures, and she did not know about his addictions until they became public.