Mike Licht breaks the news – it’s time to start singing “Cold Hearted“:

Entertainer Paula Abdul has been named to the Death Panel mandated under the new U.S. Healthcare Reform bill. We have been unable to confirm either of the facts in that last sentence, but that hasn’t stopped anyone else from making statements on the healthcare reform issue, either, so we’re going with it.

“Ms. Abdul is the perfect choice for this job,” said an unidentified government source. “She is leaving her prior post on the American Idol panel at considerable sacrifice due to her strong personal commitment to public service.”

According to the well-known medico-legal authority Mrs. Sarah Palin of Wasilla, Alaska, the Obama Death Panel will decide how she will next exploit her own family for the sake of publicity which “special needs” children and senior citizens will live or die. This will lower medical bills for surviving Americans. Cast members of “Survivor” were unavailable for comment.

I’m not worried, though, since Paula was always the “nice one” on American Idol.

Meanwhile, Palin is now calling for “civil discourse”:

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is calling for civil discourse on President Barack Obama’s health care proposal.

Palin’s call on Facebook came just days after she characterized Obama’s plan as “downright evil.”

In her latest posting, Palin says there are many disturbing details in the bill. But she says people must stick to discussion of the issues “and not get sidetracked by tactics that can be accused of leading to intimidation or harassment.”

The former Republican vice presidential candidate asked supporters not to give “proponents of nationalized health care any reason to criticize us.”

Palin is a godsend to the Democratic Party. It’s beautiful to see. Meanwhile, Palin’s fellow Republican governors have been distancing themselves from Palin’s comments. However, Newt Gingrich is defending them, in a transparent attempt to sacrifice whatever intellectual integrity he had left as he tries to position himself as the Mitt Romney “true believer” for the 2012 nomination. It’s just sad to see how Newt has become Palin’s poodle.

In a more serious vein, the deather nonsense has really provoked the media’s conscience. The Associated Press has a remarkable fact-check story up which bluntly states regarding death panels that “Nothing in the legislation would carry out such a bleak vision” and then goes on to rebut specific Deather and Republican talking points in Q&A format. There’s a nice op-ed by Ryan Witt that also rebuts Deather in Chief Betsy McCaughey’s disingenous oped in the New York Post – and also takes some deserved shots at Gingrich for good measure. Finally, Mike Madden notes in Salon thatdeath panels are already here – and are run by the insurance industry. It’s precisely this that Obama’s proposed insurance reform would fix.