I was recently listening to a sports station that was discussing retired professional athletes. The point of the conversation was that many often become “lost” in retirement because the thrill is gone and they don’t know where to turn.

How could this be? We idolize professional athletes – As a kid and even as a young adult for me that was the pinnacle for life – the goal – the point of living. Once it was achieved, happiness was assumed. So how could someone who got there not be happy?

It’s a good example of what does and does not sustain long-term happiness/fulfillment. We have created a society that attaches happiness to things that can be taken away from us – externalities – status, wealth and good looks.

What is inevitable in life, however, is that anything that can be taken away will be taken away. And to the extent we attach our happiness to those things we will in time become disappointed.

So what about those things that cannot be taken away from us – integrity, personal-best, hard-work, unrecognized extra effort, kindness to a stranger . . . ?

Is that where long-term happiness/fulfillment lies? If so, it’s ironic that those who we idolize as having it all with status, wealth and good looks may have a harder time finding fulfillment. To get to the things that cannot be taken away, they must first get past the things that can. And when they are handed those things so easily, and with the short-term happiness they bring, it’s a very difficult thing to do.

Cut the Crap: Status, wealth and good looks make a fulfilling life easy.

Bring in the Change: Attach to those things that cannot be taken away.

Timothy Velner is a husband, father, attorney and author living in Minneapolis. You can follow his daily blog – a series of discussions between the worry-self and the present-self at – thespiritualgym.me