I recently overheard someone comment that they really dislike sports nowadays because everyone gets a trophy.   He said:  “What are we teaching our kids if everyone gets a trophy?   Trophies lose value if everyone gets them.”

It’s hard to disagree with that comment.   I have a son, however, who has some developmental challenges and will likely have a very difficult time earning trophies the old-fashioned way.

It led me to think about what trophies represent.   Are we praising our kids for the results or the effort?

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the results.  I certainly do, especially with my daughters who are swimmers.  I’m right there pumping my fist each time they go faster and finish higher up the list.

But at the end of the day for me there nothing like seeing my son give it everything he has, pouring his heart out and coming in last place.   I’ll take that any day of the year over a first place that comes easily.

Timothy Velner is a husband, father, attorney and author living in Minneapolis. You can follow his daily blog – a series of discussions between the worry-self and the present-self at – thespiritualgym.me