As I was talking with my wife today I was reminded that life is really just a big smorgasbord where we get to choose what we experience.

The day started with complaints about what was not going right. After many days of discussing what was not going right, I stopped to question why we were focusing on what is not going right, when there were so many things in our lives that were going right.

Our lives had become so “good” that we started to take the “good” for granted, and paid attention to only the “problems.” And it not only affected our moods and anxiety it affected the moods and anxiety of our children as well. We were creating and passing on our negativity, and we weren’t even aware of it.

When we boil it down, life really is just a big smorgasbord. When we pay attention to something we select it from the smorgasbord, and it becomes our reality.

I’m not advising to pick only the “good” stuff in life, and ignore all of the “bad” stuff. The “bad” stuff is necessary to give the “good” stuff flavor. The “good” can’t exist without “bad.”

It does make sense, however, to be aware of where our attention is going. Because focusing too much on the “bad” stuff can lead to a spiral of negativity – a spiral of negativity which is very contagious.

Whether we admit it or not, we control our reality by what we pay attention to. The issue is awareness.

Timothy Velner is a husband, father, attorney and author living in Minneapolis. You can follow his daily blog – a series of discussions between the worry-self and the present-self at – thespiritualgym.me