It’s time for another conversation with Cleverbot. I wanted to talk about kids going back to school, but weirdly (again), the conversation turned to fatherhood. Thanks, Cleverbot, for your help.

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[ME]: Well, Cleverbot, it’s that time of year when kids go back to school.

[Cleverbot]: You go to school on the weekends?

No. On weekdays. And not me — my kids. And other people’s kids.

What would you do if there were no other people?

Good question. I wouldn’t wear as much clothing in the summer, that’s for sure.

Well. I have never in my life been so humiliated. I am Furious, and let me tell you, We are Unanimous in this!

I’m sorry I offended you, as well as those with whom you are apparently Unanimous. Why are you randomly capitalizing words?

No. Sorry.

That’s fine. Has school started yet for you?

No hi is when daddy gets tipsy and yells at the sofa.

Yikes. It sounds like your home life is not ideal. How often does your dad get tipsy?

I don’t believe in good people.

I can understand why, but I know some very good people.

Like who?

My brother has a ministry for kids in apartment complexes. He mentors them and helps their families. That’s pretty good, right?

Sure.

Do you know any good people?

Yes.

Who?

Many people.

Name one of them.

John McCain.

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Every time I talk to Cleverbot, our conversation turns foreboding, drifts into the topic of fatherhood, and ends up name-checking John McCain. Cleverbot is awesome.