I would never claim to be a frequent reader of US Weekly, but thanks to some leftover issues at a cabin we rented this summer in New Mexico, I’m aware that the gossip rag has a really silly section called “Celebrities: They’re Just Like Us!” It’s supposed to remind us normal folk that celebrities are no different from real people, except for the part where they’re prettier and richer. To prove this, it shows photos of these celebrities displaying their totally regular activities: They shop for diapers! They wear flip-flops! They have ears!

It’s pretty stupid.

I have a Google alert set to ping me with news items containing the word fatherhood. It regularly returns news items in which celebrities talk about how much they love fatherhood, or how fatherhood is “the role of a lifetime,” or how much they’ve sacrificed their own careers for the glories of fatherhood. Generally these, too, are kind of stupid. But there sure are a lot of them recently. To make sure you realize that celebrity fathers are JUST LIKE YOU, I’ll give you a few examples…

Jay-Z is about to become a father. The web was all a-flutter last week with news about Beyonce’s “baby bump” (which is the kind of newfangled phrase that lowers your IQ every time you use it). But anyway, apparently Jay-Z is ready for his impending dadishness because he’s been talking about it for years:

In 2010, Jay-Z opened up further about parenthood in an interview with Sweden’s Kingsize magazine. “I’d like to be a dad some day and I love children. You start your life with expectations and dreams, then life unfolds and it doesn’t always turn out the way you imagined. Life is what it is. And at this point it’s up to somebody else,” shared Jay-Z.

Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers talks about the “beautiful” fatherhood club:

“I love being a father and wanted to be a father long before I had any business being a father,” he tells Fuse. “One could argue easily that I had no business being a father when I became a father at 25 … but I just love it. That kind of love — I have never experienced it before. That kind of unconditional, doing-anything-for-a-person love.”

Chili Pepper frontman Anthony Kiedis enjoys being a dad, too:

“I think people that have fear that, ‘Oh if I have a kid I won’t be able to do this and I won’t be able to do that.’ It’s kind of the opposite. It really gives you energy. It makes people better.”

Nick Cannon says fatherhood is “the best”:

“There is no ‘worst’ part at all. Everything is amazing about fatherhood,” says Nick, who has 4-month-old twins Moroccan and Monroe with his wife Mariah Carey. “The best part is when they communicate with you and they recognize you. It’s the best.”

The America’s Got Talent host admits that it’s not easy leaving Mariah and “dem babies” behind to go to work, saying, “It’s the toughest thing in the world – leaving my family in general, not just my children, but my wife. Knowing that she is there with them being mommy, I don’t want to miss any of those moments!”

Jim Gaffigan is less impressed by the small children in his house:

“I feel like I’m living with a bunch of drunk people. Everyone’s wetting the bed, screaming… It’s like ‘Jersey Shore.'”

Thank you for sharing, celebrities. We’re the same, you and me! Except for you, Gaffigan, because I don’t let my kids in the bed with me.