God knows, the sex scandals of the last five years have been costly, not only in dollars, but in believers. I know a few people who have had their faith shaken, or even shattered, by the feelings of betrayal that have rippled out from all the deception, cover-ups, denial and hurt.

But along comes Amy Welborn, at Open Book, with a link to a piece in Christianity Today that tells us, in effect, we are not alone. No church is perfect. Selfishness and greed are part of the human condition, and subsist (if you will), everywhere. The author of the essay confronts the very human and very unpleasant realities of parish life, and finds solace and hope in the greatest commandment, the command to love:

Despite the turmoil and our dysfunctional church experiences, my family moved to California so that my husband, Jeff, could study for the pastorate. The goings-on at the megachurch where he was a student and then an assistant pastor made everything that came before seem like Sunday school games. During Jeff’s tenure on staff, both we and others were victimized by abuse of power. We also witnessed sexual misconduct and abuse, dishonesty, cruelty and cowardice, and a contentious church culture that fed on gossip. I have never seen anything like it, inside or outside the church.

This experience cured me of both naiveté and certain kinds of ambition. It also exhausted our resources. We are just now beginning to recover, 18 months later.

[snip]

I can look at this journey and see a trail of folly. Or I can look back with tenderness and see churches and pastors that taught me all I know about loving Jesus and being loved by him. I choose tenderness because Jesus Christ exists on earth within his sin-damaged band of followers. This is the realization that breaks us—there is no better church.

“Sometimes we endure the judgment of God because we happen to belong to a people or a group that, as a whole, deserves the judgment,” CT managing editor Mark Galli wrote recently in a blog post. “Some therefore suffer for their sins, while others suffer for the sins of others. The former is the suffering of cleansing; the latter is substitutionary suffering. Both are redemptive, and thus both can be accepted with grace.”

In one of my favorite books, Into the Depths of God, Calvin Miller writes, “The trials that keep us kneeling before our lifelong assignments are never haphazard. All the sufferings that are thrust upon us can serve to bring us to maturity.” Then he makes this terrible statement: “Hurt is the essential ingredient of ultimate Christ-likeness.”

I remember sitting at lunch one day with the wife of a famous evangelist. As she talked about the church that she and her husband had grown steadily for many years, envy pierced my heart. I wondered why I had known so much sorrow in church. I did not and do not understand it. But I sense a calling not of my own choosing.

And so, with Francis de Sales, I proclaim, “If he is with me, I care not where I go.”

Words to live by, and words to cherish, wherever each of us may go.

Amy has some thoughts of her own, about charity and love:

The nugget I took away from her piece was something I have often told others struggling with this – and myself. The only respite she finds from the horrors of church politics and the damage of corruption in church leadership is in direct ministry to the homeless. I told someone struggling with these issues once to decrease his internet time, spent reading about and talking about scandal, and go to daily Mass, then hang out with the old guys who’d been in attendance, and were probably going for coffee right before they went to the St. Vincent de Paul center to do some corporal works of mercy.

Again, it’s not a call to quiescence or ignoring problems. Lord knows, I’m not into that. But in the end, Jesus’ call to us to love, spread the Good News, and pour out ourselves in service to the poor.

Check out the article, and Amy’s take at Open Book — which is, at least today, a Book of Wisdom.