That line from “Jesus Christ Superstar” stuck in my head this morning, when I read that the folks at IHOP (or International House of Pancakes, to some of us) are buying the restaurant chain Applebee’s:

IHOP Corp. said Monday that it has agreed to buy Applebee’s International Inc. for $1.9 billion in cash, and plans to sell restaurants to franchisees to reduce costs and debt.

News of the agreement sent IHOP shares to their biggest gain in 21 months. IHOP stock increased $4.99, or 8.9 percent, to a record $61.24, on the New York Stock Exchange, its biggest jump since October 2005. Shares of Applebee’s increased 53 cents, to $24.91, on the Nasdaq stock market.

[snip]

IHOP plans to sell most of Applebee’s 508 company-owned restaurants to franchisees, said Chief Executive Julia Stewart.

“It’s a great brand, it just needs to be revitalized,” Stewart said on a conference call. “We will fundamentally change the company’s business model, moving it nearly completely out of the role of owner-operator.”

The Catholic Church — another “great brand, it just needs to be revitalized” — has spent about the same amount in payouts in the sex abuse scandal that IHOP is spending to buy Applebee’s. (“Think of the things you could do with that money / choose any charity, give to the poor…”)

The mind reels. Again.