Looking for a little spiritual direction? Someone who can unfold the mystical map and point the way? (Or, at least, make sure you don’t get lost in the woods…?)

Elizabeth Tenety has been ISO (in search of) a spiritual director, and describes the process in her Washington Post column:

I have been doing a little spiritual director shopping lately. I am looking for a Catholic guide, a person trained to help me channel my religious angst in a productive direction. I have met with several people –spiritual first dates, if you will. After a painful search and some heartache, I believe that I have found The One. It was love at first insight.

My most recent date gone wrong was with a priest who wanted to bring me back in step with the church by exploring the ways that I have been hurt throughout my life. If I determined where I had been wounded in my personal life, Father suggested, then my objections to certain church precepts that have hurt me would diminish. (N.B., I have a quite normal—even lovely –personal life.) While I think psychoanalysis might be worthwhile for some people, I was hoping to move forward constructively. Furthermore, I am not trying to fall in line, but rather I am looking to be honest with the questions that I have.

And then I found her. She is a Benedictine nun in the Chicago area. She is thoughtful and compassionate. She caught what I threw at her. We laughed. I tried not to cry.

What does a young grad student with curled eyelashes and high heels have in common with a denim-jumper wearing, monastery-dwelling nun? More than meets the eye. I hope we waltz into the unknown hand in prayerfully folded hand.

Catholics, I have noticed, are more reluctant than their Evangelical Christian counterparts to look outside their circles if their spiritual needs are not being met. We stick with whatever parish we are given –lame-o homilies be darned. One likely reason is that in Catholicism, the particulars –from the preacher to the youth group –are not the pinnacle of liturgy or life. Christ, in the Eucharist or as our teacher and savior, is. We find God in our community, flaws and all.

We are less likely to seek out a different parish if ours isn’t meeting our needs. We wail, we lament. We groan and shriek. We stay put. Suffering, after all, is part of our identity.

But there does come a point, I think, when you become stagnated and know that you need something more, something different. It is a careful balancing act to ensure that you are not simply fashioning a comfortable religion in your own mold. There are a number of church teachings that frustrate me, but some irritate me because they are so difficult to follow. Who needs to change, to move, to grow? Is it me, or the church?

Read more, and check out the rest of the Washington Post’s very good On Faith section. It never ceases to enlighten, challenge — and even inspire.