Here’s something to whet your appetite — or kill it. From a newspaper in Seattle:

It’s rare to find kosher ham. Rarer still to find it carbonated and bottled.

Jones Soda Co., the Seattle-based purveyor of offbeat fizzy water, said Friday that it was shelving its traditional seasonal flavors of turkey and gravy this year to produce limited-edition theme packs for Christmas and Hanukkah.

The Christmas pack will feature such flavors as Sugar Plum, Christmas Tree, Egg Nog and Christmas Ham. The Hanukkah pack will have Jelly Doughnut, Apple Sauce, Chocolate Coins and Latkes sodas.

“As always, both packs are kosher and contain zero caffeine,” a Jones news release noted.

The packs will go on sale Sunday, with a portion of the proceeds to be given to charity, the company said.

Jones’ products feature original label art and frequently odd flavors. Last year’s seasonal pack was Thanksgiving-themed, with Green Pea, Sweet Potato, Dinner Roll, Turkey and Gravy, and Antacid sodas. For its contract to supply soda to Qwest Field, home of the Seattle Seahawks, Jones came up with Perspiration, Dirt, Sports Cream and Natural Field Turf. The company – fortunately or unfortunately – prides itself on the accuracy of the taste.

Jones also makes more sedate flavors, including root beer, cherry and strawberry sodas.

You can visit their website for see what other tantalizing tastes are waiting for you.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.