Looking for a quick (very quick) spiritual pick-me-up? A church in Roanoke, Virginia is trying out an idea: short services, with short sermons. Very short.

This article on the church comes from The Roanoke Times:

The hereafter is an eternity, but sermons must be much shorter than that at Greene Memorial United Methodist Church’s Wednesday lunchtime services. Twelve minutes, to be exact.

The 12-minute preaching rule is in full force because the entire service, including two hymns sung by the congregation, a prayer and a 16-word benediction, lasts a mere 25 minutes.

“We don’t want people to feel trapped,” said Pastor Gary Robbins, who is promoting the limited liturgy as a way to attract busy workers to his Second Street sanctuary in downtown Roanoke.

“It’s great for people like me who are on a tight schedule,” said Jo Otey, who works at the nearby accounting firm of Foti Flynn Lowen & Co. She’s a regular among the typical crowd of 100 or so.

Noonday services are among the many tactics that churches are trying out to bring in new members, or at least spread the gospel to harried folks who have excuses everlasting for being elsewhere on Sunday morning.

There’s basketball with halftime devotions, meditative martial arts, Christian rock bands and fellowship field trips to the movies — to name just a few.

One reason to hurry through the service at Greene Memorial is lunch. Most in attendance exit the pews quickly after the service on their way to the church’s basement dining room. There awaits a $5 buffet — Wednesday’s featured cream of vegetable soup, sliced sandwich meat and cheese, breads, fruit and oatmeal macaroon cookies. Robbins isn’t sure which is the bigger draw: short sermons or a quick and inexpensive lunch. “The food is good,” he allows.

While there’s no guarantee about the menu, Robbins puts his sacrament’s zero hour in writing. A sign outside his church dares to specify exactly when the 12:05 p.m. service will end — 12:30.

The services are interdenominational, with guest pastors from the ranks of Baptists, Catholics and Lutherans, among others. But no matter the cut of their cloth, they’re all on the same clock.

In fact, Greene Memorial’s pulpit is positioned so occupants have a clear view of a wall-mounted timepiece. “At least the clock isn’t positioned in front of the congregation. That could be a disaster,” said Nelson Harris, pastor of Virginia Heights Baptist Church and Roanoke’s mayor, who has appeared as a guest preacher.

Being so blessedly brief requires Harris to trim his usual speaking time. “I typically will preach from 20 to 22 minutes.” But he readily accepts the shorter opportunity at Greene Memorial: “I have heard there is no such thing as a bad short sermon.”

Indeed, a sampling of Greene Memorial’s outside orators evinces a shared sense of humor. Retired Baptist minister Charles Fuller recently opened his sermon with an acknowledgement of the promised brevity: “Sermons come in many shapes and sizes. Some are short. The reputation of most is they’re long.”

That got a laugh. But establishing a definitive duration for discourse is taken seriously by some. For example, part of the training for Episcopalian pastors is that their homilies last about the same time as the sacrament, an estimated 13 to 14 minutes.

“I was formed in my seminary training to preach at that length,” said the Rev. Barkley Thompson of St. John’s Episcopal Church in downtown Roanoke.

Others are barely getting started at 12 minutes or so. Chip Roberson, pastor of Cave Spring Baptist Church in Roanoke County, said his sermons usually last 30 to 35 minutes — sometimes 40. “The people at our church don’t seem to mind,” said Roberson, who hasn’t yet participated in Greene Memorial’s noonday sessions.

The Rev. Quigg Lawrence, senior pastor at Church of the Holy Spirit in Southwest Roanoke County, said 12 minutes isn’t “enough time to properly give the context” and explain the application of a passage of Scripture. Yet he conceded, “In truth, many sermons have only 12 minutes of meat in them, and the rest is introduction, supporting stories and repetition.”

There’s more at the link — including a schedule of the preachers.

Photo: Pastor Charles Fuller, by Stephanie Klein-Davis / The Roanoke Times