Over at Beliefnet, Rod Dreher this weekend blogged about an ongoing conversation with an old friend of his, an ex-priest. Dreher himself is a convert to Catholicism, who left the Church after the scandals of ’02, and is now in the Orthodox Church. So he has, you might say, issues. But in a letter, his ex-priest friend talks about what most of us in the Church call “clericalism” — but which this former priest calls something else: narcissism:

I’ve been giving this some thought all weekend. Clericalism is not the underlying pathology. It isn’t a pathology at all, but an attitude that supports and even nurtures the pathology. The pathology is narcissism. It is rampant among the clergy, and the faithful only bolster its effect.

Consider this: when I became a pastor, I was asked to name an amount that I wanted to have for my monthly groceries and food. Some of my colleagues had cooks and housekeepers and most of their expense went to pay their wages. Others ate every meal at a restaurant and most of their expense was given to them in the form of cash. I decided to set up a charge account at a grocery store so that I had some accountability.

Once I was shopping and a parishioner came up and started a conversation. She noticed that I had some generic brand of vanilla ice cream in my cart. I told her I really loved vanilla ice cream, and she said, “Oh, you should get Breyer’s. It’s the best.” I explained that I knew Breyer’s was delicious, but because it is a premium brand I thought it was a little pricey. She said, “Oh Father, you deserve the best! Just think of everything you’ve given up for us.” I took the generic brand back to the freezer and picked up some Breyer’s.

It’s a little thing, I know, but it shows how innocently it all begins. The same priest who decides he deserves a little extra treat because he gives up so much for the church is the same priest who, left unchecked, will decide he deserves a lot more as time goes by.

It’s the same with Protestant ministers. I’m sure that happily married minister at Prestonwood Baptist Church probably convinced himself that he deserved a little extra treat — albeit his little treat was a 13-year-old girl — because he gives up so much for the church. When a former pastor of the parish where I ministered was accused of impregnating a teenage housekeeper and then procuring an abortion, a parishioner actually said to me, “Well, at least he’s into women.”

Astounding? Sure. But it goes on.

There’s more, including some thoughts about where bishops live and why. Some challenging food for thought — for those of us in the clergy, and for the people in the pews.