Late last month, I linked to a controversial piece in America by Sister Camille D’Arienzo, on forgiving abusive priests. Sunday, the Boston Globe published an interview with Sr. Camille:
Two weeks ago, she wrote an essay for America magazine, the Jesuit weekly, asking “Has the church, from top to bottom, determined that those who have sexually abused minors are outside of the circle of those whom God can forgive? Is there no grace left for them?”
The article generated a variety of responses, both on America’s website and on the Globe’s religion blog, which linked to the piece.
Last week, D’Arienzo talked with the Globe about her reasons for raising the subject. She did so, she said, with some reluctance, “because I know that the pain there is profound and the suffering is not over.” But, she said, she believes the conversation is one worth having.
Why discuss forgiveness for sexual abusers?
D’ARIENZO: I have been troubled by the failure of the church and the broader community to even suggest that there is redemption for those who have sinned in any capacity and who have repented. So into the silence, after many years of thinking and praying, and knowing that no matter what I say my words will be misinterpreted, I thought someone has got to start this conversation going. And so, I did.
Have you long been interested in forgiveness?
D’ARIENZO: Absolutely. I’ve had enough of hurt in my own life, and I have witnessed enough in my very long life, to know that as long as we hold on to the thing that has hurt us, and hatred for the person who has perpetrated, that we remain to some degree in the grasp of the evil that we should escape.
Why did you want to wade into this subject? You must have known it was a bit of a thicket.
D’ARIENZO: Because I feel that the truth will set us free. And we are so enslaved by impotence and rage and misunderstanding and silence. I don’t see anywhere that the official ecclesiastical church is suggesting any sort of policies or any sort of responsibility of the entire community, not just the victims, to bring about some sort of healing, and to include in the mix the suggestion that forgiveness may be one of the ways that at least some of the people who are so damaged on both sides of the equation may be able to live fuller lives. Forgiveness sucks the hatred out of the situation and allows us to go forward, that’s what I have been trying to say, not because I am the smartest one, but maybe because I am the one in the providence of God who at this moment feels called upon to break the silence.
How do you sense the lack of forgiveness?
D’ARIENZO: I don’t hear anyone saying that people involved in this particular tragedy either deserve forgiveness or are called to extend it. And I am a member of this church. I have loved it my whole life. I have given my life to this church. I’m not young – I’m 75 years old, and I have spent my life. And if I were to see a person starving, I would bring food. I think the starvation is for encouragement for compassion and mercy.
Many of the people who have responded to your article have questioned whether forgiving means forgetting, and whether forgiveness takes the place of punishment.
D’ARIENZO: It does not mean forgetting, nor does it rule out punishment appropriate to criminal behavior. To be forgiven from the sin doesn’t carry with it pardon for the crime.
Who can extend forgiveness?
D’ARIENZO: I don’t think forgiveness is the province of any one person. … If somebody were to murder my grandniece, or someone else, I would have no right to extend that public forgiveness for an abuse done to someone else. The forgiveness has to come from the persons closest, and that cannot be imposed.
But what I can do? I mean I would be so devastated, I would probably be unable to do anything, but if I had my wits about me, then I would extend comfort to the person who suffered the loss of the child, and I would pray that forgiveness could come, and I would have to pray that the person who committed that crime would be brought to justice, and would resolve never, either through incarceration or whatever, never to hurt another person again.
I don’t think that we can extend the same kind of forgiveness that the person who was abused can extend. But still, we contribute to the atmosphere where forgiveness can flourish or not.
There’s much more, so take a look at the Globe link.
Full disclosure: I’ve met Sr. Camille a couple of times, and she never ceases to impress me with her compassion, her conviction, and her unwavering courage. She’s not afraid to take an unpopular stance, when she believes it’s the right thing to do. Bless her. We need more like her.
Photo: by Jennifer Taylor, Boston Globe