The good folks at ZENIT have posted the second part of the interview with the Big Littleton family.

A snip:

James and Kathleen Littleton tell about their experience of raising obedient children, as well as children who know how to think critically and are open to a vocation to the priesthood or consecrated life.

The Littletons also spoke with ZENIT about the tricks of raising successfully such a large family, and what their adult children say about the experience, now that they are out of the nest.

(Part 1 of this interview appeared yesterday.)

Q: You say you expect “immediate and joyful” obedience from your children. Can you explain how you achieve this?

James: We try to raise our children with a spirit of sacrifice. We do not want our children to come to us when they are grown and say, “Mom, Dad, why did you ruin me by always giving in? Why did you always give me what I wanted, when I wanted it? Why didn’t you give me the capacity for sacrifice? Why didn’t you form my will when you had the chance?”

We try to form our children to be obedient. Obedience is expected to be immediate and joyful, manifesting quality and diligence. In other words, when they are asked to do something, they are expected to do so immediately with a positive attitude, giving their best to the details of the task, and getting it done as quickly as is reasonably possible, without wasting time. The lack of any one or more of these qualities is really not obedience.

How do we achieve this? First, our children are not angels, they are human, so it is always a work in progress. We try to make them clearly aware of what is expected of them. There needs to be consistency and diligence both in what we expect and in holding them accountable. Then there can be negative consequences when a child is not obedient, such as doubling the requested chore when a complaint is given. I am not a big proponent of regularly giving warnings, though I will on occasion where prudence suggests. And, we do strive to predominantly use a wide variety of positive motivations including, for example, rewarding the best-behaved child after a designated period of time with perhaps a bag of candy. The added benefit to this is forming our children to share — the recipient of the candy has the free will to keep it all, or to share. We have been blessed to witness how they have all learned to share in this way. Or the reward may involve a special outing or sports activity.

I also strive to meet with each of my children on a monthly basis to offer spiritual guidance one-on-one, though not always as consistently as I should. They each have goals appropriate to their age, for example, a virtue they are concretely working on as well as their prayer commitments and goals. So they are partners in taking responsibility for working on their own formation. This is essential.

And most importantly we receive the sacrament of penance together as a family on a weekly basis. We have been blessed to have received special permission from our pastor for our children to receive this sacrament as early as age six. The self-reflection and the graces of this sacrament of mercy are indispensable in growing in virtue and holiness, and make our job as parents 99% easier.

Kathleen: We try to raise our children imitating Christ as our model of virtue. Christ’s sole purpose on earth was to do the will of his Father in heaven, not out of fear, but out of total love. Thus, we as parents attempt to form our children in prompt and joyful obedience based on the same motivation — love, not fear. Love is self-giving and each child needs to learn that they are here on earth, like Christ, to serve, not to be served. Service is a manifestation of love for another, whereas sullenness, lack of charity and isolating oneself, is not of God, and creates division and disorder. When one refuses to cooperate out of selfishness, the entire family is hindered.

You can read the rest right here.