At first blush, I thought this brief essay was a classic example of someone who had a deadline to meet, and nothing to say, and an editor breathing down his neck.

But I’m thinking, no:  he actually has a good point to make.

While sitting in church the other day, I was contemplating the meaning of life and what my purpose here on Earth really is when I began wondering about such things as how to be a better person. And that woman is wearing a wig or my name is Jehoshaphat.

I snapped out of my deep thoughts during the homily when the deacon suddenly raised his voice for emphasis on the word “if.” He said “if” really is a powerful word and he’s right.
It certainly was a strong word, just like knucklehead or naked.

And I really do use “if” a lot. As a matter of fact, it was running through my head as I sat there listening. I wondered “if” I was going to have my usual sandwich and a half a can of soup for lunch or “if” there was leftover sauerkraut, then that meant – whoo hoo! – it’s hot dog day.

But enough about lunch and back to the sermon on “if” and how important it can be regarding faith. The next thing I thought about was “if” there was no sauerkraut then I’d have to just stick to plan A, which I decided was a bit disappointing because I get so tired of sandwiches since that’s all I have all week.

Then I though how cool it would be “if” we stopped by the local diner for a nice breakfast instead. But I know we should be giving our extra money to the poor but, what the heck, let’s live a little.

Suddenly I started to get a little excited about lunch. A farmer’s omelet and hash browns were sounding really good at the time. And who doesn’t like going out to eat after church? Yes, I convinced myself that would be the plan.

I was getting inspired about the deacon’s sermon when I decided that maybe I wouldn’t get breakfast after all.

Read on to see where this leads…