My blog neighbor Rod Dreher this morning posted a reflection on the idea of a priest/pastor being a “spiritual father” — a concept, he concedes, that is increasingly elusive:

Catholics and Orthodox (at least) have a different relationship with their priest, in that the most important thing he does is dispense the sacraments. Protestants demand more of their pastors, because the pastor is expected to give a good sermon. I’ve not been Orthodox long enough to say what the expectations the faithful have for homiletics from their pastors are, but among Catholics, nobody expects a good, or even a decent, sermon. It ought not be that way, but it is, and it’s part of the theology. On the occasion I got a good Catholic homily, it was lagniappe, but mostly, I considered the sermon the dull time before the Eucharistic prayers.

Anybody validly ordained can be a dispenser of sacraments and/or a presider over a congregation, but it takes something different to be a spiritual father. What is that quality, or qualities? A Catholic friend suggested to me this morning that it requires a quality of personality that can’t be taught, only refined. I thought about my own father, and how he, though not a conventionally religious man, possesses a gift of moral seriousness and authority that people have gravitated to all his life. Wisdom, I guess you’d say. We also talked this morning at breakfast about how a priest or pastor who is terrible at preaching can nevertheless have a powerful gift of consolation that comes out when his parishioners are in distress.

But that is not the same thing as having the authority that is required to be a real spiritual father to one’s flock. Nor is having the gift of giving good sermons the same thing as having that authority. Nor, for that matter, is ordination and the education that prepares one for that step.

So, what is it? Can it be learned, or otherwise acquired? What makes some men (and women) spiritually authoritative, but others not? What has your experience been? What qualities do those you’ve turned to for spiritual leadership have?

Thoughts? Anyone?