It’s been a bad day at Depression Hill. When you’re depressed, it doesn’t take a lot to make a day go bad. An unguarded glare, a nasty word, or even an uncaring shrug can be explosive. Is there anything you can do when you’re having a bad day?

Well, there are a few things you can do when you’re having a bad day, but it really depends on you and where you are at in depression. If you’re at the most severe end, you don’t have much energy to do anything except feel angry and hurt. You might want to scream or get into an argument but in the end, the negative feelings won’t go away. What you really need is a shoulder to cry on, a caring ear to listen to you vent, or some soft hugs. And this isn’t just for women. Guys get hurt feelings too, and when they’re depressed they might feel stuck between the tough guy who doesn’t show his feelings and the guy who wants to cuddle and cry. Guys, usually over a few drinks, tell other men how rough life is, disguising their pain with tough talk. It’s okay for men to show their feelings, especially when they’re depressed. Men and women – we’re all human beings fighting the same debilitating darkness when it comes to depression.

While talking helps when you’re having a bad day, it requires you have someone to talk with, someone who will listen in a non-judgemental way. Not everyone who is depressed has such a person. Usually people don’t understand why you’re depressed. Your attitude and behaviour can make others feel uncomfortable, maybe even angry and confrontational. I know my behaviour caused my brother to argue with me about why I was so negative about my life and the world. Our arguments just added to my depression because the words spoken and unspoken reinforced my ideas of how much my life sucked and how terrible people were.

My brother didn’t understand depression because he’d never encountered anyone who was open about their depression. Understanding the facts about depression is necessary for anyone dealing with someone suffering from depression. Words are important. So is attitude. The unspoken words said with your glance, body language, and behaviour is enough to send the depressed person tumbling down Depression Hill into a boiling pit of despair. At the same time, your non-verbal language can gently guide the person down Depression Hill to a soft field of compassion.

Depression Hill isn’t a nice place but the pain and suffering endured can be eased. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or to tell someone how you’re feeling. It’s important that you don’t keep your thoughts secret, because that’s where depression can be most deadly.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  (http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org)

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