Grief is supposed to help us get past the death of someone we love. Grief is supposed to move you forward, get you going into the future. But grief can be complicated. It can involve many feelings, thoughts, and situations that tangle the path forward. Grief can also cause feelings of guilt and remorse, and leave unanswered questions.

Love never forgets

You never get over the death of a loved one. No matter how long ago the person died, there are anniversaries, places, and people who bring back memories of the person. Love never dies. So why would you be okay with forgetting the person you loved?

If love never forgets, then it is okay to never forget anyone who is deceased. I’ve heard people tell me to get past a person’s death. That dwelling on what happened, or thinking lots about the person, only postpones and muddles the healing process.

But what these people don’t realize is that the process of grief is very personalized. One size doesn’t fit all. Nor should it. My relationship with person A is different from your relationship with person A. So is my thinking about the afterlife, and my views about religion. My ability to cope with letting go of someone, of being alone, maybe even feeling abandoned is different from your ability.

So let me grieve in my own way. Let me grieve to the deepest depths of my heart, and to the fullest outpouring of my soul. Let love blanket me. Let my angels and guides console and help me move forward. May I see signs and wonders from the other side, not just to believe, but to know that I am not alone. That love still connects us and holds us gently.

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