Getting to know yourself means you must be willing to examine yourself. To take a deep, honest look at who you are. It’s not easy. But it can reap great mental and emotional rewards.

To know yourself means you have self- knowledge

The famous Greek philosopher Socrates once said the unexamined life was not worth living. Socrates realized that for a person to be fulfilled and happy, the person had to have self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is about more than just facts, like when is it your birthday. It’s about patterns of behaviour and emotion. It’s about the deep seated reasons for why you do things a certain way. Self-knowledge is about emotional triggers, how much negative self talk you believe, and how you navigate human relationships. “To know yourself” means you literally have to get to know yourself.

Questions to ask so you can know yourself.

Imagine meeting an exact duplicate of yourself. First, you’d make a quick mental summary of your duplicate. You’d notice all the flaws and highlights. Then you’d pass judgement. How would that judgement stack up against what you currently believe about yourself? Is it better, or worse?

Self-judgement can create fake answers. Knowing yourself will always lead to the truth. Here are some questions to help you navigate to your truth about yourself.

1. What are my unhealthy patterns I learned from childhood? (Phobias, emotional coldness, latching onto certain people, etc) Look at your attitude and behaviour.

2. How much does negative self-talk influence my relationships and job?

3. What are the negative self-talks I have with myself? List these in any order.

4. Am I aware of the effects my words have on others?

5. How often do I shame, hurt, or anger others? How often do my words uplift, soothe, or heal others?

6. What do I value? You can rank your values in order of importance.

7. What do I fear? Is it death, loneliness, failure, or illness? Rank these in order of importance.

8. Who can’t I live without? Who doesn’t have to be in my life for me to be happy?

9. What can’t I do without?

10. How much do I resist change?

A clearer understanding of who you are.

Getting to know yourself doesn’t have to be a painful, ugly, messy job involving therapists and lots of money. The above questions are doorways you can walk through to journey deeper into understanding who you are. Enlightening yourself about yourself will lead to a happier, fuller life. You’ll have better relationships because you won’t be bullied by judgemental people. You will know the real you.

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