“I like you and want to stay married.” Great. But that probably isn’t going to cut it unless the commitment is much deeper.

Think about it. Most people stay committed when the relationship goes well, but what about when stress mounts and pressure comes your way? Then what happens to commitment?

It’s when we experience the hard times that the level of commitment you have to the relationship really counts.

Commitment means staying in the game when it feels bad and isn’t exactly going your way. This is when the committed partner takes action and says, “OK, let’s deal with the problems and work it out.”

And this is where sacrifice comes in–you may have to compromise or do things you aren’t thrilled about like helping clean bathrooms, take out the trash or watch a TV show your partner likes.  But this level of commitment–where sacrifice and compromise come in–helps couples go the distance.

A study of newlyweds in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology supports the role commitment plays. When couples take their vows and commit to the good and bad of relationships, they better mean it or the chances of breaking up increases. Of course, I am not talking about staying in an abusive relationship or one that puts you at risk physically.

When problems come, stay in the moment. Communicate, compromise and look at the big picture. It’s not about who wins, but all about how you work together to honor those vows.

Source: University of California – Los Angeles (2012, February 1). Here is what real commitment to your marriage means. ScienceDaily. Retrieved February 16, 2012, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2012/02/120201181453.htm