Jackie and Mike felt like they were constantly battling over small things. Like them, most of us need a little help when it comes to dealing with conflict in our relationships. Here are 10 things NOT to do. They only worsen the situation.

1) Make assumptions about the person or situation. Assume, do not ask, about perceptions, motivations or reactions.

2) Even though conflict is not always personal, take it that way!

3) Blame as much and as often as you can.

4) Make an effort to avoid problems and hope they magically work out.

5) Go after the person’s character, not the action.

6) Tell other people how unreasonable the person is. Don’t keep the conflict between the two of you.

7) In fact, make it public and bring it up in a public place rather than waiting to be somewhere private.

8) Bring up the conflict and then tell the person you don’t have time to deal with it.

9) Bring up conflict when you are upset, angry, not feeling well or especially irritated.

10) Address the problem via social media or email rather than in person.