Like many people, you may have been hurt in a relationship because of trust violations. Or maybe growing up, you couldn’t trust those around you to keep their word or treat you kindly. As a result, you struggle with insecurity. Don’t despair. You can develop a more positive view of yourself that will then impact your relationships in a healthy way. Even if you did not grow up with a secure attachment, your relationship with God can heal that insecurity and anxiety.

God knows all your flaws and issues, yet still values you and thinks highly of you. He loves you unconditionally and accepts you through no action of your own. As your intimacy with God grows, you feel more secure. God’s perfect love casts out fear and anxiety.

God reminds us that we are secure in our faith (John 10:28–30). We are constantly on God’s mind (Ps. 139:2), and he delights in us (Ps. 37:4)! His promise is to never leave or abandon us. So live in the security of knowing you are one of his and that nothing can separate you from his love.

With his Spirit in you, you operate from his secure base. Other people may let you down, but God will not. He also wants to hear your cares and insists on taking your burdens from you.

Security in God also means your identity is found in him, not in what others do or say. No one but God has the power to define you. And he has already declared you righteous and one of his children. Our personal, living and active God exchanges insecurities for his security. It’s a hard deal to resist.

Furthermore, God in you makes it possible to act in ways that might not be in your range of experiences. For example, when you feel clingy and afraid to bring up an issue, God can give you the courage to confront and stay in the conflict. According to Scripture, he has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. You can confront anything with God’s confidence. That is what David did when he faced the giant, Goliath.

Finally, when you feel insecure, remember how God has helped you in the past. Remind yourself of his promises. Invite God into the battle. Put on your spiritual armor (Eph. 6) and don’t run away. Be bold. The Lord, your God, is with you. The battle is his.