The title of an article in The Atlantic caught my eye a few weeks ago, “Gossiping is good?” When I read the title I immediately thought of the biblical admonition to not gossip. Verses like, “A perverse person stirs up conflict,
and a gossip separates close friends.”(Proverbs 16:28) came to mind. Also, the verse in Romans tell us, “They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips,” Quite the negative list and gossip is on it!

So I wondered, Ok, how can it be good? Let’s see what the article had to say. After all, we know a lot of people do gossip. Gossip is part of our culture. In fact, media and social media make a living out of such. But is it really GOOD for us?

The conclusion from a University of Texas and University of Oklahoma study was that two people who share negative gossip over a third person feel close to each other. But is this really a way we want to build closeness?  Do we want to bond with someone by tearing someone else down? What is the long term consequence of building your relationship with one person by tearing down another? I would argue that while the immediate consequence is you bond, you become someone who is not trusted and known for their careless words. Your reputation is at stake.

Researchers at Stanford and UC Berkeley also discovered that when people were gossiped about, they sometimes reformed their ways or became less selfish. OK, but is this justification for gossip?  Surely there are better ways to make people self-aware. Perhaps going to the person and checking out the item of gossip could help a person see how their behavior is affecting others. This is not a way to motivate people to be better –shame them with gossip?

Finally, the “good” of gossip was attributed to anthropology. Yes, gossip gives us a shared identity. Sounds a little desperate to me. I can think of many more positive ways to find a shared identity! And again, what does gossip do to the person who is the target. Lives cane be ruined over careless words. We this over and over in the news. Gossip is reported. It is found to not be true. No corrections are publicly made and the person’s life is tainted.

Is gossip good? No is my conclusion. I advocate you go to a person and talk out something you hear. After all, that is what I would hope someone would do to me–not spread gossip on social media or any other forum.