While most of us like the idea of heading to a big family feast for Thanksgiving, this year could be very different. You may be thinking, “I really don’t want to sit at a table with uncle John or Grandpa Smith because it’s going to get nasty given today’s political climate. I’m already exhausted by politics!” I speak from experience. Many years ago, in another contentious political time, I was brought to tears at the Thanksgiving table by an Uncle who ridiculed me because of my vote in a an election. It was a dark moment in our family history and I vowed to avoid this topic in the future. If I wanted a Happy Thanksgiving, politics was off limits. And I have made this a practice every year!

A politics free Thanksgiving  may be critical to your health. Exhaustion is only one sign of political overkill and contention. The toll of heightened emotional arguments, contentious talks and down right anger can lead to a number of symptoms. When you are worked up, your blood pressure rises, you don’t eat well (too little or too much), you experience anxiety or worry, mood changes, and sleeping problems can result. Basically, you carry stress with you for the day.

So this Thanksgiving, think about a few things ahead of time. Ask the family, how much time and energy do we want to spend on political conversations, fights and disagreements? Could we agree to avoid politics this year? Let’s hash tag, #politicsfreeThanksgiving! We are all tired of this and don’t want to be part of not only dividing our nation, but our families.

If you don’t think politics can be avoided, then mentally prepare. Don’t make assumptions about family members when it comes to politics. Be respectful of everyone’s opinion. If the topic of politics comes up, be a peacemaker and say, “I’m sure we all have our own opinions. Let’s have a day and a meal where we don’t get into this and instead talk about other family things.”

If you can talk with civility, give it shot. Set the ground rules and create a positive experience for the children at the table. Show them what politicians can’t seem to do–allow others to hold opinions and respect differences. Listen to why someone feels the way they do and listen to “the other side.”

If you find yourself in the middle of temperatures rising, leave the conversation and get involved in a game, another discussion or an activity. Suggest a nice walk outside, a game of touch football or cards. Be a distractor.

For one day out of the year, keep your mind on giving thanks! Focus on the meaning of the holiday. Give thanks for the freedom of speech and living in a country where you can hold your own view. And pray for civility and respect to be restored. It is sad how polarizing politics have become. On Thanksgiving, take care of your mental health and family. Have a politics free Thanksgiving!