The work world has changed. Probably, forever. The pandemic forced us to work from home. From a computer. Forget the desk. Forget the dressing-to-please. All you need is to be Zoom-appropriate. So, many Americans are now seriously re-thinking how and where they want to work. Or even if  we want to re-engage.

Let’s consider this: What is it about your job that makes you like or dislike it? Your boss? The culture in the office?  Leaders set the tone and create an atmosphere that is enjoyable or not so much. So what are those things that make you say, “I know there are problems, but I want to stay?”

Here are a few important factors that may help you decide.

Where’s Waldo? The psychologically absent leader

Don’t like: I worked for a leader who was psychologically absent. He came to work every day but wasn’t engaged. His leadership style was laissez-faire, meaning he did not make decisions and was slow to lead any endeavor. He never advocated for things and always played the victim. Consequently, he did his own thing and didn’t hold anyone accountable. In other words, he didn’t really lead. Increasingly, small groups of people tried to escape from his influence, re-aligned themselves and even attempted power grabs. The constant internal politicking overshadowed the work. This type of leadership is destructive to building teams and retaining people. After awhile, frustration builds due to the lack of direction and leader engagement. Many people left our organization. Those who stayed did whatever they wanted. Chaos reigned.

Like: Even when there are problems, if the leader is highly engaged, passionate about the vision and mission, we all do better. I worked for a pediatrician leader who was passionate about children and training pediatricians. Every meeting was motivating and made me want to stay to be part of the team. He was completely psychologically engaged with his team.

Performance, not people

Don’t like: We know we have to perform and get things done at any job. But a leader who doesn’t show personal interest or care for their people, makes work an unpleasant place to be. Leadership guru John C. Maxwell got it right, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” It’s such a basic principle that is often lost in companies. Point is, people will stay even when there are problems if they feel cared for. And when that care is noticed, the bottom line is met because you are motivated to do good work.

Like: You feel cared for on the job. And you know your leaders have your back.

A lack of empathy

Don’t like: Empathy is a basic skill of emotional intelligence. When it’s missing in a leader, the person becomes unlikeable. Most often, this describes bosses who are transactional. Just get the job done at any price. One boss I had did not understand my work flow at all. He worked 24/7 and expected his people to do the same. One of the staff had a death in the family and was at a funeral on a non-work day. He called her and told her to get him something he needed now. The lack of empathy was astounding. She quit shortly after.

Like: Caring is shown with empathy. A boss who understands your plight, listens to your work problems that need solving, and focuses to make the work environment better, has empathy. Empathy can’t be faked. It shows up in crucial conversations. It is evident during crunch time. And it allows people to keep going even when things are tough.

They don’t see you

Don’t like: I worked for a boss who demanded a lot. He was a perfectionist. Our team wanted to do well despite his constant pushing. But when we accomplished our goals, he never gave credit to the team. We felt unseen due to the lack of recognition. We teach parents to praise their children in order to motivate them to do great things. Adult workers need the same. Bosses who don’t give recognition when recognition is due create poor work environments.

Like: You are recognized for a job well done. Verbal praise and recognition are given periodically. Words are powerful. Appreciation goes a long way.

Stuck with no growth opportunities

Don’t like: Again, thinking of all the places I have worked, one of the reasons people left a certain institution was  because there were no growth opportunities. One colleague was actually told he would never be promoted because he did the current job so well. They could not afford to lose him in that position. Hardly a great reason to stay, right? He soon took another job with growth potential. Stagnation in a position can easily result in dissatisfaction. And, it’s really bad for the health of the organization.

Like: Good bosses always provide growth opportunities. Mentors are provided to help you grow. Places that offer unlimited potential retain people.

Charisma hides the flaws

Don’t like:  Charmers are good at fooling others because of their charisma. But if they can’t get the job done or abuse their followers, they create an environment that is challenging over time. As an employee, you see the flaws that are not being addressed. There is no accountability. You notice that the charm is a cover for insecurity which impacts your work. And when charisma and narcissism run together, the workplace is subjected to the whims of the leader. This unpredictability and ruling by momentary feelings make the work environment stressful. When only one person’s opinion matters, the focus is always on pleasing the leader, not the quality of your work.

Like: We like charismatic leaders who surround themselves with a good team and delegate authority and responsibility. When you feel empowered by a charismatic leader to do a good job, it’s motivating. Your productivity levels rise. You’re healthier in the environment, emotionally and physically. The rising tide of healthy charismatic leaders lifts all boats–to borrow from an old truism.

If on Sunday night you dread thinking about going to work, reframe that thought.  How can I bring healthy to my area? Can I model better cherishing my colleagues and co-workers? How can I lead, within my sphere of influence to make a difference for everyone? Don’t allow yourself to become the victim of a toxic boss. Take the healing lead to a better workplace.