Rachel has struggled with her weight since she was a child. Now a 52-year-old woman, she was shopping for her niece in a nice department store. The sales clerk approached her and said, “We don’t carry plus sizes in our store.” Surprised and hurt, Rachel turned to her and said, “I am not shopping for me.” The sales clerk didn’t apologize as she walked away.

Fat shaming is real and happens every day to the 41.9% of Americans like Rachel who are obese. In the practice of disrespecting and judging a person based on their appearance, some say fat shaming is a socially acceptable injustice.

Yet, fat shaming doesn’t motivate people to lose weigh. If fact, the result of fat shaming is often more weight gain along with depression, anxiety, low-self-esteem, body image problems and disordered eating.

Fat shaming is based on the idea that people who are overweight/obese lack will power. Consequently, they become the brunt of jokes and name-calling; they experience social rejection at the work place and in personal relationships. However, obesity is a chronic medical condition. Since we do not shame people with other medical conditions like diabetes, why target this group?

Unfortunately, most overweight people are reluctant to discuss their weight with their doctor. Why? They are lectured. A diet is prescribed and they’re told to lose weight. Not one of these tactics is helpful. If losing weight were that easy, no one would be overweight.

In a recent attempt to address weight bias among physicians, an article in Medscape titled, It’s time to shame the fat shamers, was published.  While the author wanted physicians to check their bias against people with obesity, shaming shamers is not a strategy I recommend.

Instead, let’s help each other gain awareness of our thoughts and behaviors toward those who struggle with weight. To do so, here are a few questions to ask yourself. Be completely honest. If you answer YES to any of these questions, you may be biased to those who are obese.

1. Do you feel superior to someone who is obese?
2. Do you find yourself laughing at fat jokes or making those jokes?
3. Do you tease people about their weight as a way to motivate them?
4. Do you make negative judgments about someone based on their appearance or weight?
5. Do you believe people who are thin are superior to people who are obese?
6. Do you believe ‘eat less, move more’ are the only factors in weight loss?
7. Do you stereotype people based on their weight?
8. Do you think people who are obese are lazy and lack self-control?
9. Are you uncomfortable working with people of all shapes and sizes?
10. Do you choose your relationships based on shape and size?

The point is, we can shame people in many ways, some more subtle than others. Shame is never a good thing. It is an intensely painful experience that hurts people. It leads others to feel unworthy of love or belonging. Shame also results in a loss of dignity. Most importantly, shame is not a characteristic of being a Christ follower. Despised, rejected, spit upon and exposed, Jesus bore our shame.  Instead of shame, He gives honor and  dignity. As His followers, we are not to shame others, rather treat each other with the same dignity and respect Christ gives us.

So next time you are tempted to laugh at a fat shaming joke, don’t. Then, imagine the face of a real person who may be hurt by your shaming. Speak up and say, “It’s not OK to make fun of people who struggle with weight.” It’s certainly not a Christ-like way to behave.