TWEET: You didn’t follow through on your promise today #madatyouagain

TWEET: How about the way you responded #outofcontrol

TWEET: No way. Call me @JohnSmith. I’m over Tim!

TWEET: #overreacting. #outofcontrol and trying to blame me. I guess I eat out tonight!

TWEET: Seriously, no dinner with me is right! Checking my options @JohnSmith

What would be your guess as to the relationship health of this couple? Good, problematic, or headed for trouble?  If you said problematic or headed for trouble, you are right!

In fact, one researcher, Russell Clayton, discovered that active X (formerly known as Twitter) use leads to greater amounts of X-related conflict among romantic partners. In other words, couples may find themselves fighting over those tweets and creating conflict that leads to a breakup or infidelity.

X, a social networking site (SNS), can have a damaging effect on romantic relationships. Those tweets can create jealously, flirting, distrust and strong emotions. Time on social media obviously results in decreased time with your partner which leads to less satisfaction and sense of connection.

Another problem is that using social media can result in a negative comparison of your relationship with others. But remember, people often position their relationship to look positive even when the relationship has serious problems. This is because they want others to think they are happy.

Furthermore, when you are distracted by social media, you miss real time opportunities to respond to questions and social support from your partner. You don’t want to miss the cues when someone is asking for help or your support.

Another important issue is to discuss how to use social media with your partner. Will you block on ex or did you post something your partner did not want you to share? Just add the hashtag (#) or @replies and you’ve got a public conversation that should have remained private. This gives new meaning to airing your laundry in public!

As is the case with other SNSs, it’s a good idea to keep your private life private. Don’t use SNS to stir up jealousy or engage in betrayal. If you are having problems in your relationship over the use of X, stop using it and start talking to your partner in person. Consider if this social media is contributing to more distance and negative feelings. If so…

#DoneWithX until we can work out a plan!

#StoppingHurtingOurRelationship!

Good idea @drlindamintle