Here comes the love feast holiday again!  I can hear the sighs from some of you. As a single person, it’s not your favorite holiday. Who wants to be reminded of what is not happening when it comes to love. Well, you may need a reframe for the day while you remain hopeful to meet that special someone. To make Valentine’s Day a good day, avoid these 5 things:

1. Don’t sit home and pout about not being in the relationship of your dreams while drowning your sorrows in pints of ice cream. You’ll only gain weight and feel even worse! Wallowing in self-pity does nothing. It’s not a good look!

Do focus your love on someone meaningful in your life—maybe your parents, grandparents, a special friend, a child in need, etc.  Love can be celebrated even when it is not romantic love. And that is the point, there are people in your life who love you. Or people who need to feel loved. Make them the target of the holiday.

2. Recently rejected? Don’t keep asking yourself what you did wrong or pursue the person who dumped you. That is not a good look. People break up for all kinds of reasons. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t see you as special or the one. And you might have been saved from a problematic relationship as well.

Do move on even though you may still have feelings for the person. Feelings cannot be trusted. The rejection or break-up had reasons behind it. Focus on those. The brain’s reward system becomes activated when we can’t get something we want.  This makes the rejection harder to resist. Lead with your head, not heart. Distract from thinking about what could have been.

3. When you are attracted to someone: Don’t worry so much about what you say. You don’t have to be well spoken or completely put together. You can fumble a bit and be awkward. Love does that to us! Research tells us that 55% of attraction is based on body language and 38% on the tone and speed of your voice.

Do notice if he or she is responding to initial attraction. Studies tell us that people know within 90 seconds to 4 minutes of meeting someone if they are attracted to them. So pay attention to the nonverbal cues and tone of your voice.

4. If you have been dating someone for a long time, don’t allow your relationship to become so routine that both of you are bored and become uninterested. Between 18-36 months into a relationship, initial passion takes a dive due to chemical changes in the brain. This is normal and does not mean you’ve lost that loving feeling.

Do something novel to ignite a spark in the relationship. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system and bring those feelings of love to the surface again. Get off the couch, the video game, your phone and do something new.

5. Don’t say, “I love you” unless you mean it. Research at MIT’s Sloan School of Management found that the timing of saying this powerful phrase is often based on a cost–benefit analysis and men tend to say it first.

Do tell the person if you mean it. This is something we all want to hear when it is true. And interestingly, hearing the words, “I love you” may improve your health. Studies show intimate relationships can bring a drop in blood pressure and longer life. But if you don’t mean it, don’t say it. Be sure.