When we think of February, we usually think of Valentine’s Day and love. But some would disagree. Divorce attorneys report that January and February (just before Valentine’s Day) are the busiest time of year for divorce.

Think about it. Couples try to make it work over the holidays and hope that all the hoopla and family time will reignite an ember burning marriage. When this doesn’t happen, they can’t imagine celebrating love with a partner that doesn’t seem to be loving. Valentine’s Day requires them to pretend. So they don’t and divorce.

Maybe all that family time over the holidays led to disappointment and a reality check of the work that needs to be done on the relationship. People think, “I can’t imagine spending more time together and facing another year.” They give up and call it quits.

Connecticut therapist, Donna Ferber, reported in a Psychology Today article that she believes divorce rises because January represents a new start to the year. New Year’s resolutions can include getting out of an unhappy marriage. Additionally, January seems like a long month to endure given the winter and the one-day holiday. So maybe unhappy couples feel the exhaustion of the holidays and have trouble gearing up for the new year.

Also, parents who are thinking divorce do not want to drop that bomb on their children during the holidays. They wait until all the dust settles and then move forward. And the holidays can remind people of marital problems such as the in-laws, substance use, and fighting.

Another factor seems to be financial. January is one of the busiest month for bankruptcy filings. This burden can push couples to the brink of  divorce as well. Also, a couple’s marital status is determined on December 31 for the following year. If you wait until February, you get the tax benefits. Finally, if you spent too much over the holidays, January can be a catch up month before you make a change.

Whatever the case, the month of love is also the month of lost love. And that is sad. Lost love can be found. The path to divorce is known and can be fixed. Even when couples wait to spare their children the pain over the holidays, it remains a loss for children and one of the known adverse child events that later impacts their health and mental health.

When couples commit to marital therapy they could avoid the divorce lawyer. My plea is to try and work things out. Go to therapy. There is hope and help.