If someone you care about isn’t OK, how do you approach the topic of mental health? A friend recently asked me this very question. She’s noticed that a close friend of hers has been acting differently—eating poorly, feeling down most of the time, and losing interest in activities they once enjoyed. She’s concerned that he might be dealing with clinical depression but isn’t sure how to bring it up without making him feel worse.

Talking about mental health can be tricky. It’s an uncomfortable subject for many, and the fear of saying the wrong thing or making the person feel worse can make us hesitant to start the conversation. But if you notice signs that someone is struggling, it’s important to step in with care and compassion.

First and foremost, it’s rare that talking about someone’s mental health will make them feel worse. In fact, people who are struggling often appreciate having someone who is willing to listen without judgment. The key is to approach the conversation with empathy, openness, and patience.

How to Begin the Conversation

You don’t have to have all the answers or be a mental health expert to show you care. A simple, heartfelt approach is often the best. Try saying something like, “You know I care about you. I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately, and I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”

This opens the door for them to share, without putting pressure on them to talk if they’re not ready. If they do open up, the most important thing you can do is listen—really listen. Reflect what you hear to show that you’re engaged and understanding. For example, “It sounds like you’ve been feeling really down lately” or “It seems like you’re struggling with finding joy in things you used to enjoy.”

The Power of Listening and Validation

While listening, avoid distractions—put your phone down and give them your full attention. Eye contact, a calm presence, and being physically and emotionally present all make a huge difference. Let them know you appreciate their trust in confiding in you. It’s important to validate their feelings and avoid offering easy fixes or platitudes like, “Just think positive!” or “You’ll get through this.” These well-intentioned comments often feel dismissive, even though they’re meant to be encouraging. Instead, simply say things like, “That sounds really tough” or “I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.”

Always offer hope—let them know that, even though things may feel bleak now, there is help available, and things can get better. Your support can make a big difference.

Offering Support and Encouragement

Sometimes, the best way to support someone is to remind them that they don’t have to go through this alone. Even if you don’t fully understand what they’re going through, just letting them know you’re there for them can be a powerful gesture. You can say, “I’m here for you, and you can talk to me anytime. You’re not alone in this.”

If they’re open to it, gently suggest they consider speaking to a professional. If you know of any resources—whether it’s a local counselor, a therapist at a church, or a mental health hotline—offer those referrals. It’s not your job to fix their problems, but you can help point them in the right direction for the support they need. Sometimes, just knowing where to turn can make all the difference in taking the next step toward healing.

Encouraging Connection

One of the hardest things about struggling with mental health is isolation. It’s easy to withdraw and feel disconnected from others, especially when life becomes overwhelming. Encourage your loved one to stay connected with others, whether through a support group, a church community, or even a close circle of friends. Being around people who uplift you and offer understanding can be a powerful source of strength.

Sometimes, the first step in breaking free from the darkness of mental health struggles is simply acknowledging it and talking about it. Starting the conversation might feel awkward, but often, a compassionate, listening ear is exactly what your loved one needs to begin healing.

Final Thoughts

Supporting someone through mental health challenges doesn’t mean you have all the answers. It means being present, offering empathy, and helping them find the support they need. It might not be easy, but your willingness to reach out can make a world of difference.

If someone you care about isn’t OK, don’t be afraid to speak up. Start with empathy, offer a listening ear, and remind them that there is always hope, even in the darkest times.