What happens to couples when they are stuck at home 24/7? Have you heard of pandemic divorce? Take Full House star Mary-Kate Olsen who referring to her husband, told the New York Post, ““I just cannot take one more minute with him.” Mary-Kate is not alone. Divorce rates have risen during COVID-19.

Consider this: When there is no pandemic, the average couple sees each other for 30 minutes in the morning and two to three hours in the evenings. And some of that time is spent doing errands, with friends, and running kids to activities and practices. Obviously, all of that changes during a time of lockdown. Suddenly, you are with that same person day and night. This can be eye opening for some couples. Instead of seeing good things in their partner, they may realize their spouse is controlling, paranoid or even incompatible. Then, they begin to think about divorce.

And pandemics are stressful. Families may experience death, loss of jobs, financial pressures and more. Increase chronic stress and uncertainty spotlight the coping skills of two people. This is especially true when it comes to conflict. Suddenly, you are talking more, stating your opinions and making parenting decisions together.When couples don’t have good conflict skills, the pandemic simply highlights their dysfunction. Conflict rises. When conflict goes unresolved or heightens, couples don’t do well. Unmanaged conflict is a factor in divorce.

And speaking of communication, those problems are also highlighted. One woman told me her husband rarely talks about anything of substance. During COVID-19, she noticed the lack of intimacy. Trying to make things better on their own didn’t fare well and they decided not to stay married. In her words, the pandemic made it more difficult to sweep things under the rug.

Another said the constant fighting got to him. He realized he and his wife differed on so many beliefs and ideas. Their differences often ended in arguments and fights. This tension made daily living very unpleasant. Instead of expressing fondness and admiration for each other, they were critical and defensive. Over time, the positive feeling of the relationship became negative. Then, each person reads negativity into the actions of the other.

Finally, social isolation combined with poor stress relief leads to marital tension. Going to gym to blow off steam, meeting a friend to talk through a problem, going to church to become re-centered are ways to help bring perspective. Yet, we know these have been temporarily taken away.

When you don’t have strong social support, healthy coping skills and a faith to sustain you, the relationship can dissolve into dysfunction under chronic stress. Unfortunately, this is what we are seeing. What is needed is to work on fixing the relationship and build a strong faith to help sustain difficulty. Hopefully couples will reach out for help, work through their difficulties and build a better foundation for the future rather than call it quits due to the stress.