“Conflict is an inevitable reality. Like a car flying down the interstate, our body shuts the windows and locks the doors to contain all our pain. Conflict moves in a set direction on four wheels – distress, anger, fear and guilt. A rearview mirror allows us to focus on the past so we’re not blindsided. The steering wheel of perception guides our direction, and sin fuels the conflict.

But it’s our pride that steps on the gas pedal. God gives us His wisdom, a brake pedal so we can stop. It’s always there, right beside the gas.” —MA Strategic Communication student, Eric Pilgrim

This quote from a student addresses one of the most important issues that can block conflict resolution in a relationship–PRIDE.

Pride …

stops us from going to a person with whom we have ought.

keeps us from looking at our part of the conflict (A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you’re looking down, you can’t see something that’s above you.–C.S. Lewis)

blinds us to the need for humility and listening to the heart of others (A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor– Proverbs 29:23).

puts us first, others last and wants to win (Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud– 1 Corinthians 13:4).

leads to arguments (Proverbs 13:10).

prevents us from saying sorry.

makes reconciliation difficult, if not impossible.

Are you in a conflict with someone and not making any headway in terms of resolving it? Consider pride as a possible root of the problem.